The Princess and the Tobe

7 Years!

2012-01-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

On our wedding day

Us now!

7 years ago today I was waking up the morning after my wedding. 7 years ago today was my first full day as a wife, after spending the first night in the bedroom of my new house, with my new husband. Our wedding was a fairytale, but more important than the dress, the cake, or the venue was that it was celebrated with our closest family and friends, and I became his wife that day.

Last night we celebrated 7 years of marriage. My mom came over to look after the littles, and we went out for dinner at the Melting Pot - oh my goodness, SO good! The food was fantastic, the atmosphere was lovely, but most of all it was nice to sit down with my love and have it be just us. The coolest part of the restaurant is that the 2-person booths are secluded from the rest of the restaurant, and it feels like you're in your own little private room :) Hubs and I talked and laughed and for 3 hours it was just the 2 of us.

One highlight of the evening was the sparkler Hubby gave me that he picked up while in Dubai as an anniversary gift:

Diamonds and sapphires! He done good ;)

I can't believe it's been 7 years! I am so thankful for my husband, and for my family. In 7 years we've welcomed 2 beautiful children, we've traveled the world (especially him), we've both grown in our careers, and we've moved into our dream home. I am so proud to be his wife. I am so proud of all he's done, and all we've done together. I look at him at see the man of my dreams, and each and every day he becomes more so. I am so proud of my family, and the life that Hubby and I have made for ourselves. We've had our ups, and our downs, but each challenge we've faced has only made us stronger. Marriage isn't always easy, but it's what you do when you're in the downs that makes the biggest difference. Every day I wake up choosing to love him. Every day I wake up choosing to be a family with him. I love him so wholly and completely, and I can't imagine my life without him, and I am so very glad that he is mine, and that I am his. And as cliche as it sounds, I really do love him more today than I did 7 years ago, standing in front of our family and friends and God and pledging to love him for all my days.

Thank you for letting me be your wife, husband-of-mine, and letting me love you!

I Gotta Be Me, and You Can Be Me too.

2012-01-24T14:54:00.000-08:00

Since when did getting pregnant mean I was no longer able to make good decisions for myself?

It seems like forever ago when I wrote this post. It also seems like forever ago since I wrote this post. (It also seems like forever ago since I tagged my posts, which I need to start doing again. But that's beside the point...)

Yesterday a bunch of moms came under attack. Yesterday a mom came personally under attack both publicly and privately. Yesterday a bunch of moms felt attacked. Yesterday a bunch of moms attacked... each other. It's not the first time I've witnessed it or been a part of it, either. This time it was over SAHMs, WAHMs, and WOHMs (Stay-at-home moms, work-at-home moms, and work-out-of-the-home moms), who had it harder, who did what by who's choice, and who had what right to complain about it. I would reference the blog posts in question, but one post has since been removed by the author, and the other post's comment section turned into a gigantic sh*tball of inflammatory comments. Anderson did a recent show on the topic, Dr. Phil did one awhile back, and depending on what studies you read, working outside the home will kill your children, but staying at home will kill you (maybe a slight exaggeration, but I got sick of reading abstracts after about an hour). And proclaiming to be part of either group will open you up to a world of criticism on your parenting, your marriage, and your worth as a woman, a mother, and a human being.

As for where I stand, I am all 3, and yet none of the above by any of the group's standards (and have been told so before by "members" of each group). I am a SAHM in the sense that I am with my kids 90% of the time. My career path was chosen because I wanted to stay at home, and career opportunities were passed on as well. But some wouldn't consider me a SAHM because I bring in an income, and occasionally work outside the home ("occasionally" being a max of 30 hours a month). I am a WAHM in the sense that I take away time from playing with the kids or doing housework on occasion to sit in the kitchen to do research, edit power points, type up brochures/lesson plans/etc for a business that I own, but I am not a WAHM because at this point I am still in the start-up phase for some aspects of my ventures, and am not full-time. I am a WOHM in the sense that occasionally I work in-hospital, and have to balance childcare, my schedule, and the schedule of my employer, and I spend sometimes 10+ hours away from my children, but I am not a WOHM because I dictate a large part of my schedule, including deciding when I do and do not want to come in, and am out of the house an average 7 hours a week, versus the standard 40+ hours a week that is considered fulltime. What part of my life do I think is easiest? Depends on the day. It depends on the work I'm doing, the mood the kids are in, and whether or not I'm solo-parenting.

There's a whole world of guilt associated with motherhood already. We are constantly questioned on our choices and actions. If you don't breastfeed you've failed. If you co-sleep you're going to kill your child. If you babywear you're going to spoil your baby. If you set your baby down you're never going to bond with them. It's kind of ridiculous. We have enough going on without arguing with each other. You'd think that the people most sensitive to the judgment, stigmas, and doubt would be fellow moms.

Apparently I was wrong. I can shrug off random people telling me what is or isn't good for my kid when they're childless. It's cliche, but you have no idea what it's like, and I know your opinions might change once you're in my position. I am shocked, however, at the lack of compassion I've witnessed recently online. You yourselves are mothers. Even if you don't understand, can't you empathize? I'm a breastfeeding advocate. It's part of my job. I get paid for it, and my reputation depends on it. And the best I can hope for is that you make whatever decision you want to make with the correct information, which I can provide you. After that, whether or not you chose to breastfeed is actually none of my business, and I will support you either way because I can imagine that you aren't just randomly making decisions. You're basing it on the needs and well-being of you and your family. That goes beyond to the rest of parenting as well. I don't know why you're returning to work after 6 weeks, why your baby sleeps in his own room, why you're using cloth diapers, or why you're not buying a stroller, but I'm sure you've got your reasons. I just hope that you've educated yourself and are making decisions with current, correct information in-hand.

These so-called Mommy wars are nothing new, and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. But this is ridiculous.

The Trade-Off.

2012-01-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

Hubby has traveled far and wide. His latest trip brings him to Dubai.

Hubs is gone again. This time Dubai. This trip is certainly shorter than some have been (longest he's been gone is 2 weeks, thankfully), and the time change is actually perfect for the long nights (Tobes doesn't sleep for me. He will for Hubs... Or my mom... But that is a different rant). 11-hour difference means that I can text him at midnight, and it's 11am for him. But he is gone, and I miss him. I miss the random lunch hour calls. I miss him walking in the door at 5:35 and the shrieks from the kids as they run into his arms. I miss my partner-in-crime, especially at bedtime - he takes care of Tobes, I take care of Princess, and it's done! I miss hanging out with him on the couch after the littles are in bed as we talk about our days, plan for the weekend, or just joke around. I miss the hugs, the kisses, and the snuggles in bed (especially as we hit a cold-snap! He's my personal furnace!)

Princess and Tobes miss him. Tobes doesn't sleep for me, which means that not only is he missing his Daddy, but the nights are sleepless for him. Princess is a Daddy's girl through and through, and so it hits her hard, though she's gotten used to dropping him off at the airport, and skyping with him as time/internet accessibility permits. It's gotten easier as time has gone by, which is good, but it's also sad. I didn't think I'd be at the point where I'd be getting used to saying goodbye, sometimes every month (like in the stretch we are now), and sometimes with as little as 2 days notice. He isn't gone that often, especially compared to other families I know, but we also aren't set up for him to be gone for any length of time either. We didn't foresee this when we got married, almost 7 years ago. We thought it'd be a trip to the states now and then, but he's also seen China, India, Singapore, and now the UAE. Not to mention Scotland, England, and Ireland (which we scrimped and saved and Princess and I were able to tag along to Ireland!!)

But it's the trade-off. Hubs is smart, loyal, dedicated, and an incredibly hard worker who was fast-tracked into his current position which is taking him around the world. He is in a high position for his age, and he's got nowhere to go but up. He works for a company that has bent over backwards in the past as we've faced health concerns, and family emergencies. He has job security, and the other benefits mean that we can tag along on a trip of a lifetime to Ireland, Princess can take Irish dance, I can pursue my own dreams and goals regardless of the cost (both in time and money), and we can still plan our other trips for the family (we've got a Disneyland vacation in the works for next winter!) I am damn proud of him, and all he's accomplished in the almost 9 years we've been together. He's a brilliant man, and his brilliance has given him the opportunities we all get to experience. I'm not bragging, but I count my blessings and remember that this is the trade-off. And it is all worth it in the end.

But in the meantime, I miss my husband.

Shake It Out

2012-01-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

I love this video. I've been through some major changes in the last 2 years, and I am living a life I only dreamed of, but at the end of the day, we all carry things with us from our past, and this is the year I am finally going to "shake it out". It means making some changes to how I spend my time, and where I spend my energy, but dammit, I deserve it, and so does my family.

So listen to the song, and be happy :)

I Watch REALLY Bad TV...

2012-01-11T15:04:00.000-08:00

I eluded to it in a previous post, but part of my new year's resolution is to stop watching bad reality TV.

I'm addicted. To horrible television. Seriously. I don't watch it in front of the littles, but I'll have it on in the background while I'm working at the computer, after they've gone to bed, or before they wake up. I have stopped watching Toddlers and Tiaras (I have, honestly), but TLC's other goodies like "Geek Love" and "Virgin Diaries" are tempting. But my biggest weakness is for "The Real Housewives" and all it's franchises. It's voyeuristic to see how "the other side" lives, and a guilty pleasure. It's amazing to see all their fancy clothes, the amazing houses (that's what really gets me!), the cars, the jewelery, and the trips. There is plastic surgery and botox galore, especially in the OC and Beverly Hills shows, and everyone is addicted to work, business deals, and starting new business ventures (which seems to happen especially in the second seasons, as fame grows I assume). Lavish parties are thrown, and it's all about who you know. It's amazing how many people have "dear friends" in the entertainment industry, in the hottest restaurants, or in the hotel business. In a sick way, it's also almost reassuring to watch how more money seems to lead to more problems - the bankruptcies, the short-sells, the tabloids, and the drama. You watch the strong personalities clash as you figure out the different cliques, think of who is in the wrong, and pick sides in every situation. I get caught up in the drama and the catfights and deceit and betrayal, and sadly I could even relate some of the situations, though thankfully I haven't had my hair pulled since my brother was a toddler...

It's just a waste of energy, and time, and I don't need it! So I'm starting with cutting out The Real Housewives of New Jersey (the cattiest of all, I think), and will go from there :) It's also baby steps into going more TV-free. I doubt I'll ever actually stop watching TV, I love it too much, but between Project Domestication, the littles getting bigger and playtime with them changing, and even just having a different house with a bigger backyard, a crafting room, etc, when I do watch TV, it's time to choose better shows! I went through a period where I needed to rid my real-life of all the drama, why shouldn't I rid my TV-life as well? ;)

So here's to a TV-free-er 2012!!

Wordless Wendnesday

2012-01-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Project Domestication

2012-01-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not looking to become a Stepford Wife, but I need a little work...

So you may or may not notice a new tab at the top of my blog! I've launched a new blog, "Project Domestication". Remember how I was talking about new house resolutions, well this is where I'm hoping to track them and my progress. I'll still post in here, don't worry - I want to keep the other blog solely for my new house resolution. At this moment, I can't figure out how to get the tab to work (it's supposed to be linked to my new blog), but in the meantime, feel free to click on the link in this post, and have a look-see! Please post comments, or helpful tips if you have any! Or simply cheer me on as I continue on my quest for domestication!

2012!

2012-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!

So I might be a few days late, and I apologize ;) But I hope everyone has had a safe and wonderful holiday season. I've been thinking of resolutions for awhile... I started with making some resolutions for our new home, and then I started to think about who I was in 2011, and who I want to be in 2012.

2011 was apparently a year of change for a LOT of people. Everyone I have talked to faced major things last year, good or bad. For myself, 2011 was full of challenges. I started a business, and I met some amazing women. We moved out of our first home, and moved into our "forever" home. New friendships and relationships were forged, others changed, and some even came to a close. Special babies were born in 2011, and special babies were created to appear in 2012. I learned new things about me, good and bad. 2011 was by no means awful, but I must admit I am more than happy that it's come to an end.

I have 2 different posts sitting in my queue, all half-finished. One is about my new-home resolutions, and one is about all the awful TV I watch. Both come into play when I talk about what I want 2012 to be for me and my family. I want 2012 to be a year of peace, and I want the theme to be 100% completely family-focused. Obviously my children and my husband are always in the forefront, but I want to maintain that always whether it be in business-dealings, relationships, friendships, or just how I spend my time. I want to be less busy this year. I lead a VERY active social like, and I love all my friends, but I also think everyone needs some downtime now and again, and that includes me in a very big way, especially as work starts to get busier. I need to find a way to balance everyone I love so much, along with my family, my work, and my me time.

I also have MANY house-related resolutions, especially as the holidays come to a close - I am on load 4 of at LEAST 6 loads of laundry that NEED to be completed today. I need to revamp my chores list as we've now added an extra sitting room, craft room, and bathroom. Not to mention a higher-maintenance yard and just more square footage all-around. I will say that the extra square footage has FINALLY given us all the space we need for our stuff, and that's a huge relief! I also have general domestic goals (like cooking) which will also help with my goals for health. I know you've heard this from me before, but I PROMISE there will be more on this later ;)

2011 was so big, I am so excited to see what this year has in store!

Santa

2011-12-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

I started working on this post a few weeks ago, and even though Christmas has come (and gone!) I still want to post it. I often get asked, and ask others about their beliefs around Santa - as in, who is he to your family, do you incorporate him into your celebrations, and if so, how? Some of my friends celebrate the Christian Christmas, and some celebrate Christmas as a time to spend with friends and family, and give to others. Santa brings one of my friend's kids only handmade toys (wooden toys, puzzles, handmade clothes, a la elf workshop stuff!), another friend only gets family toys from Santa (board games, or movies for them to watch together).

For my family, we're still working on the balance between Santa and Jesus, and I know I've mentioned it before, but I love the book Santa's Favorite Story for that. For us, it's not either Santa or Jesus, but we're trying to find how Santa can compliment the spiritual meaning of the holiday. We definitely "do" Santa in this house - I love the mystery and fun of it. Santa has his own wrapping paper, special tags, and hand-writing. And with the added fun of Emma this year, there is NO doubt in Princess's mind that he's real. And I love that. I have always had a big imagination and I loved playing pretend growing up (I still daydream all. the. time... Ask my husband) and I love playing into my kids' imaginations now.

Obviously in all this we try to not put focus on the materialism the season can bring - we definitely can get overboard on the gifts, but we also give to charity and donate items as well, and talk to the kids about how lucky we are to have so much, and how some kids don't have all that we do. We're big on the family time, and gifts we can all enjoy together - this year Santa got Princess and Tobes one toy each, and then a couple of joint gifts (a shopping cart from Melissa and Doug, and walkie-talkies!) and then the family got a couple of board games. I also don't really like the "naughty or nice" about Santa. I don't think a gift should be based on behavior. Obviously I want my children to behave well and be polite, but if I want to give someone a gift, it's because I love them, not because of anything they've done to deserve it. Rewards are for behavior, gifts are for relationships. God didn't give us Jesus because we were super-awesome, it was because He loves us. We love our children, and so we want to give them gifts, so it's kind of weird to think of a man my children meet once a year (for photo opportunity) getting all the credit for all the gifts on Christmas morning. I'd rather them think that I'm the incredible mastermind behind the perfect present ;)

Those are my thoughts on the man in red, and now I pose the question to you - how does your family handle Santa?

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T21:36:00.000-08:00

29

2011-12-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

Today I turn 29. One year from today, I will be 30 (which is apparently also the end of the world, or at least the end of the Mayan calendar. I am going to have one INSANE "It's the End of the World As We Know It, and Erie's 30!" party, but that's another conversation altogether). (Seriously though, it's going to be awesome).

I had goals for my younger 20's - when I wanted to graduate university, when I wanted to have a career, when I wanted to be married by, when I wanted to have kids, etc. But I never had "goals"/markers/whatever past the age of 25... It's a new stage of my life. I am married (coming up on 7 years!) I have the house of my dreams to raise my babies in, and on that note, I am done having babies! Now is a time to start looking beyond and setting bigger goals. I want to make a name for myself in my industry, and I want to be successful in my upcoming business ventures, and seeds are being sewn. I want to be a dance mom for Princess, and a soccer mom for Tobes (or hockey, except the idea of 4am rink times scares the crap out of me!) I want to be the best mom for both of them I can be. I want to be an amazing wife for my husband, and I want to keep growing and nurturing the amazing friendships I've made throughout my life.

I can't believe I'm already 29. Not that it's old, but I don't feel old enough to be 29, and yet chronologically, I guess it must be so. I look around me and am proud of the life I have cultivated, and the woman I have become. And I can't wait to see what the last year of my 20's shapes up to be!

Happy Birthday to Meee!

Guest Blogger Again!

2011-12-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

It's that time again, folks! Time for my guest blogger. Princess has been begging me to let her "write" on my blog for awhile now ;)

So, without further delay, Princess!

***

P: "Hi Blog-people!"

Me: "Would you like to introduce yourself?"

P: "My name is *insert real name* and I'm 4 years old!"

Me: "Are you excited for Christmas?"

P: "Yeah!"

Me: "What are you most excited for?"

P: "Santa to bring me toys! That's what I'm excited of. And for Uncle J to get here! He's going to sleep in my room under my bed!"

**I should stop and make note here that Uncle J is my brother, who is coming in from Victoria and staying with us. Princess has a loft bed, so when she has sleep-overs (usually with Grammie), the sleep-over-ee is able to comfortably sleep under her bed. We're not talking about 6 inches of clearance or anything... But J is actually going to sleep on our pull-out couch...**

Me: "Do you know why we celebrate Christmas?"

P: "It's Jesus's birthday!! We don't see God and Jesus though. I have a book about Jesus and God. It's yellow."

Me: "If we can't see them, can we still talk to Jesus and God?"

P: "Yeah. We pray to them, and that's like talking to them. In my book Jesus has black hair. I like his hair."

Me: "So we celebrate Jesus's birthday on Christmas?"

P: "Yup! God sent him here so we would have peace."

Me: "What else would you like to say about Christmas?"

P: "Christmas is about giving. Like giving presents. God gave us Jesus when he was born. Do you think he would have been a cute baby, mommy?"

Me: "I think so."

P: "Can I tell your blog-people Merry Christmas?"

Me: "Sure! That would be nice!"

P: "Merry Christmas!!... Can I go play again?"

Me: "Sounds good, sweetheart."

***

Meet Emma

2011-12-02T07:15:00.001-08:00

Wednesday night we had a visitor in our home. Emma the Elf on the Shelf joined our family for the Christmas season :) She's been here for 2 nights so far, and the kids are having a blast hunting her down and seeing what she's been up to in the night.

Emma herself. We thought we'd place her on the hearth - a good place for her to sit and listen to the goings-on around our house...

But one night here, and already she decided to change the place around! Thursday morning we found her in Princess' room with a brand-new nightlight that shines snowflakes on the ceiling...

We placed her back in her spot that day, but this morning we found that she had gathered up some of Princess's dolls for a party - complete with empty candy wrappers...

Saucy elf!


And in Emma's place? Another one of P's dolls!

I think my favorite part is all the places for her to hide, and the shenanigans she'll try. I'm also thankful for Pinterest, and my fellow elfing pals to bounce ideas off of ;) We're not using her as some are - I've read so many places where the elf is used as a ploy to help kids behave. Let's face it - I have a 4 year old and an 18-month-old. I'm 1) not withholding gifts if my children don't "behave" (I'm too excited to give them, and realistically while I expect a certain level of behavior, my children are mostly on par with that but punishing them at Christmas isn't going to help) and 2) we have a different view about Santa anyway... Which probably deserves it's own blog post. I have so many of those half-written in my cue right now...

Anyway, welcome to the family, Emma! We're excited to host you for the next 23 days!

I Love This Age!

2011-11-28T20:20:00.000-08:00

18-month-old Christmas Princess spreading cheer to one and all!

It started with a simple question - because Princess and Tobes have birthdays that are just days apart (literally - 2 days) every milestone he hits or every holiday or event we encounter makes me think back to what Princess was doing at that time.

I did a search through my journals (while I'm relatively new to blogging, Princess' first 4 years are chronicled on an online forum... I need to blog more about my kids on here!) and found that at the age Tobes is now (17 months, soon to be 18), Princess had a vocabulary of over 25 clear words (compared to Tobes' 4ish... Though tonight he did learn how to say "Ho Ho Ho" courtesy of Princess). That search lead me to photos and videos of my little Princess... Baby Princess... 18-month-old Princess running down hallways and dancing to her Uncle's cellphone ringtone.

I miss that little girl. I love who Princess is now - I wouldn't change her for the world. My girl is bright, inquisitive, funny, kind, and loving. Looking back at those photos made me realize how much I LOVED that age, and how much I LOVE this age with Tobes.

At 18 months Princess was really starting to become independent in the sense that she loved to hit the ground running and explore. I have video of her tearing down the hallways of a building downtown on our way back to the car from a festival. She was verbal (again, 25+ word count... It was probably over 30 if I really think back) and so expressive. She had the best surprise face when she discovered something new, and her smile took up her entire face. When she didn't have words, she made the funniest noises. I have a video of her saying "WOAH!" at the sight of an indoor waterfall. When she ran her whole body ran. She was still very little, but I feel like it was the point where I looked at her and saw "toddler", more than "baby".

And Tobes is getting to be the same way. He might not be as verbal, but that doesn't stop him from talking (just this evening he carried on a conversation with Auntie L and Baby B for several minutes... I am guessing he was talking about his foot given the way he gestured emphatically at it more than once). He is just as expressive as Princess was, and gasps in surprise at the funniest things (like when we open the curtains first thing in the morning). I love watching him chase after Princess, and try to copy her (as I mentioned earlier, he learned how to say "Ho Ho Ho" this evening, and tried galloping like a reindeer as she did - he even tried to hold his hands in the same way she had hers). He laughs at his own jokes, and has even mastered the fake laugh when Princess finds something funny and he feels the need to join in. His current favorite activity is to shuffle around the kitchen when "his music" plays (we have a little fridge toy that you're supposed to use to make matches with magnets. He just uses it for the music it plays and gets quite upset if a magnet is actually in it).

We're done having kids, but I kind of wish I could keep a constant stream of 18 month olds around!! (as long as I had a nighttime nanny...)

It's such a fun age!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!!

2011-11-22T19:31:00.000-08:00


I love my wood-burning fireplace. It's hard to pinpoint my favorite part of the new house, but this was a pretty big plus!

We've been completely flattened by chicken pox this month. The benefit of the illness (if you can call it that) is that my schedule was completely wiped for 2 weeks as we gave the kidlets a chance to heal, and all of us a chance to rest up.

And a beautiful side effect of that quarantine? Christmas decorating!! :D Banisters are wrapped in pine, little lights are twinkling everywhere, my village is up, and tonight we set up the first of our 2 (!!) trees! The second will come mid-December, as we're planning on doing one fake, and one real.

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. Spiritually I celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. We celebrate the gift given to us by God. I love the services at Church, and I never get tired hearing the Christmas story. Beyond that, it's also a time for my family to get together (my brother, who is the only one who lives out-of-province, comes home every year) and hang out. It's a time for parties and celebration, and getting together with people I might not otherwise see for awhile. I love decorating. I love baking, and cooking, and planning and hosting. And crafting. And decorating, but I think I already mentioned that. I also will happily admit I LOVE gift-giving. I love brainstorming, planning, shopping, hiding, and wrapping. I LOVE to wrap gifts. I love winter. I love watching snow fall outside while I stay in my pajamas and drink tea and play with the kids, and the magic and warmth of Christmas just adds to that.

I love that we have a wood-burning fireplace this year. I love that our fire isn't going to be provided by the TV (yes, I also love the yule-log channel) but by actual crackling wood. This is going to be the first Christmas in our new home, and the first year we're not running around all crazy-like (in-laws will all be out of town this year). I'm excited to start reading Santa's Favorite Story (my friend let me in on it a few years ago - Santa tells his animal friends about the story of Jesus. It's brilliant!) I'm excited for the Christmas services, and for singing carols, and I'm excited for Christmas morning, when Princess and Tobes see all the gifts.

I love Christmas :) And I love that it's just a few more weeks away!

My Christmas Village. The front room of my house is the PERFECT space for it, and it makes me smile every time I walk through the door!

A Firm Handshake with Change.

2011-11-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have a secret.

I HATE change.

I can't embrace it. Most I can muster up is a cordial wave, and MAYBE a firm handshake. If I have to.

I hide it well, I know. Most of you can't even believe it, can you? ;) And yet, my life has been completely turned upside-down, and I'm coping. I am a planner. And my plans might change, but I still like being able to have a plan to focus on. And that's not the case right now.

We moved. Surprise! And my world turned upside-down. And now as the dust is settling, more changes are just around the bend. To keep this from being too cryptic, it's related to my livelihood(s). New opportunities are presenting themselves, and the comfort of routine isn't all that comfortable anymore. Or routine! I'm not intentionally leaving out many details, I don't have many to give! *lol*

I'm just sitting here, clutching to the sofa, and trying to ride out the waves!

From a House to a Home! Our First Celebration...

2011-11-03T15:43:00.000-07:00

You can't tell in the picture, but the photos in the frames range from 5x5 and 5x7 to 11x14!! It takes up the ENTIRE wall of our dining room, and I love it!

We've now been in our home for just over a month! It still feels weird to head in the exact opposite direction from almost every place I usually drive to (we live on the complete opposite end of the city now), but I'm really getting used to the fact that I am now about 15 minutes closer to everywhere! Church now takes us a total of 4 minutes to get to, a far cry from the 35 minutes+ we used to spend every week.

We're slowly continuing to unpack boxes (now we're into the non-essential, less-than-fun stuff to unpack) and we've finally started to hang picture frames and make the house really look like our own. We decorated Princess and Tobe's rooms first - it was really important to us that they each get their own, unique spaces. Next up will be the kitchen (I'm going Mickey-chic!! Warm yellow, cranberry, and black... I will post pictures once I'm done!) and then we'll probably figure out our room.

Last weekend our house really felt like our home as we hosted family and friends for Tobe's dedication ceremony. Our first celebration in our house was for the event of my husband's and my decision to dedicate our son, promising to teach him about God and His love for Tobes, to raise Tobes in a Christian home, and ask for God's guidance in our parenting of him. We dedicated Princess in the same manner 3 and a half years ago. Our faith means a lot to our family, and so this was an important event for us, and the perfect first celebration in our new home.

I still can't believe it's ours <3

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

Thankful

2011-10-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada, and I am feeling especially thankful. I've been blessed beyond measure, especially in the past few months. We've gotten a new (FABULOUS) house, I'm getting so many opportunities in regards to my lactation consultant practice, Hubbyman and I are doing great, and Princess and Tobes are both growing up to be such fantastic people. Tobes is really starting to become his own little person, with his own likes and dislikes. I forgot about this stage from Princess. And Princess is imaginative, and I can barely keep up with her on the best of days... ;) I could go on and on about what I'm thankful for. Between family, friends, and my life in general, I have a long list!

But today I decided to switch it up a bit, and get a guest blogger in - my very first one! She is someone I am incredibly thankful for, and I wouldn't be who I am or where I am without her. Instead of me list off how thankful I am, I thought she'd have a really unique view on this weekend, and that we'd both have fun with this. She's an expert with words, though not as fabulous with the computer, so I'm here to help her along. Without further ado, I present my guest blogger, Princess.

P: "Hi!" *giggle*

Me: "Did you want to tell the people on my blog a bit about you?"

P: "No thanks!" *to be fair, I am interrupting her coloring with this interview...*

Me: "What about telling them how old you are, or what you like doing?"

P: "No thanks! You can tell them!" *she looks up at me, smiling*

**Princess is 4. She loves to color, dance, and "read". She also informed me the other day that she no longer loves princesses, but she does still like princess movies, books, dresses, and tiaras.**

Me: "So Princess, this weekend is Thanksgiving."

P: "I know, I know, I know!"

Me: "Do you remember what Thanksgiving is about?"

P: "You thank people for all the stuff you have"

Me: "Well you don't have to just thank people for gifts, you can thank God for all that He's given you, and just be grateful for all the blessings we have. Do you know a blessing is?"

P: "What?"

Me: "It's like a gift, but you can't always see it. Like your family, or your friends. So what are you thankful for?"

P: "I'm thankful for... um... 1 minute!" *puts down her crayon* "I'm thankful for my princess cash register, and my baby brother Tobes, and for you and for Daddy!"

Me: "What else are you thankful for?"

P: "I'm thankful for all of my friends!! And our new house!! AND MY PINK ROOM!!" *at this point, Princess is dancing around my kitchen*

Me: That's a good list!

P: "I'm thankful for dance, but I need new shoes. Oh! Once you buy me new shoes, I can be thankful for that!"

Me: "Yes, you can."

P: "Mommy, I love you... Can I color now?"

***
I guess that ends the interview ;)

7 Years

2011-09-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

In 7 years,

We moved Hubbyman in after 7 months of planning and waiting and watching the house grow from literally a hole in the ground into our very first home.
We got married, and spent our wedding night in this house. I officially moved in that night.
We spent the last half of our honeymoon setting up our new home.
We welcomed our first furbaby, Sophie.
We celebrated our first holidays and birthdays as a married couple in this house.
We celebrated our promotions, and new jobs in this house.
We started developing the basement, dreaming of the children who would one day play in the rec room.
We found out we were expecting our first child.
We spent months preparing the nursery, including the Winnie the Pooh murals Hubbyman painstakingly drew and painted.
We brought Princess here, to her very first home.
We celebrated Princess's firsts - her first holidays, her first smile, first words, first steps...
We found out we were expecting our second child, but lost shortly after.
We celebrated Princess's second birthday in this very backyard. All those we loved best were there.
We found out we were expecting our third child.
We finished the basement as much as we could to make room for our newest addition.
With the birth of Tobes, our family was completed.
We brought Tobes home here, to his very first home.
We've celebrated his firsts - his first holidays, his first smile, first steps...

We have had many celebrations, hosted many friends, and our families over the past 7 years in this home. We've had our share of happy and sad memories in this house, but all of which important to who we are now. We became a family in this house, and have made this house our home.

Goodbye house. You have been so good to us <3

It's About to Get a Whole Lot Louder...

2011-09-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

Princess loves Glee (the music). I love Glee. We listen to a lot of Glee in our house. Princess has been singing along since the beginning. Sometimes she whispers it softly, sometimes she belts it out - with or without music, or even correct lyrics.

One song she's currently obsessed with is "Hey Soul Sister" by Train, performed by the Warblers. We were out driving the other day, and Princess started an impromptu concert for me... And Tobes joined in at the end. ("Hey, Hey, Hey") ... It sounds like coincidence, right? Mommy and sister are singing, I'll make noise too. Fun. Nope. He very much joined in for the "Hey"s, and very much stopped to listen while we sang the rest of the song, joining in again once we got back to the "Hey"s.

:S

"Meticulous" feet...

2011-09-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

I am one proud momma this week. Princess started dance again on Tuesday. This time she's in the "big kid" class (with only one other kid from her Tiny Tots class... I don't know if that means the others quit, or are still in Tiny Tots). This time she's in an actual competative class, and I think she's the youngest one there!

We've "practiced" over the summer, which has basically meant that we'll either both spontaneously break out into dance in the kitchen, or I'll randomly ask her to show me a "jump-2-3" during our day. Most kids go straight into the class she's in now if they start after the age of 5, so I knew that ANYTHING she did this summer would just be bonus.

But her teacher told me that she's "meticulous" with her foot position (something that has been 100% her doing) and a very good listener. And that just has me beaming. Almost as much as catching her practicing her "jump-2-3"'s on her own in her room on in an empty kitchen ;)

I keep saying that I'm a dance mom, but not one of THOSE dance moms. At the end of the day, I just really, REALLY hope she'll love dancing as much as I did. Seriously, that means more than any title or championship she could ever win...

(seriously, I caught most of the first episode of that show, and that is a whole other rant for a whole 'nother day. Scary. Just scary.)

Well Articulated...

2011-09-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

My daughter is many things. My daughter is intelligent, hilarious, adorable, and beautiful. And of course I'm biased. I'm her mommy, and I'm incredibly proud of her (most of the time). I hope most people who meet here agree, but not everyone might.

But ultimately one thing that I think pretty much anyone who has ever met her (and those who even haven't but have heard stories) can agree on is that she is one well-articulated little girl. Very rarely do I have any issue knowing what she is thinking or how she feels.

I don't get told that she "hates" me, and she doesn't even call me yucky anymore (those with toddler/preschoolers know what I'm talking about!) Instead she tells me that if I continue to tell her to stop/be quiet/etc., that it will "make [her] mad" or "make [her] mad at me", and that she "doesn't like it". She will yell and scream, but generally it's about how she's feeling, and how she wants me to stop whatever I'm doing (correcting her behavior, sending her to time out, taking away a toy, etc).

And I'm actually ok with that... Don't get me wrong, I hate the attitude - it's a constant struggle to correct her behavior while being respectful of her feelings and her needs, but I am kind of proud that when she's angry, she can articulate it so well. She can tell me EXACTLY what's wrong, and EXACTLY how she feels.

She is one well-articulated little girl.

Parenting From 16 000 KM Away

2011-08-30T16:18:00.000-07:00

(That's 10 000 miles for my friends south of the boarder)

Tobes is freaking out at me this afternoon. He's up and down off my lap, he nurses and then doesn't. He's a non-napped, played-out baby. I am also non-napped, and a little played out. He finds the cordless phones, and hands it to me, squawking and screeching. I take the phone from him and he looks at me expectantly. I call my mom, put her on speaker phone, and both he and Princess have been happily occupied for the last half hour, leaving me completely alone!

It's kind of fantastic, and it took me way too long to think of it.

On one of Greg's recent trips away, I was trying to put Princess to bed with an over-tired Tobes. I called Greg (in China) just to vent. Tara begged to talk to him, and he ended up "reading" her a story, praying with her, and even gave her a count-to-ten snuggle while I nursed and put Tobes to sleep, all from 10 000 miles away!

I know it's bad to let the TV baby-sit your children, but what about the phone...?

Not Gonna Lie...

2011-08-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight sucked.

I worked at the NICU today. It's not an easy job, but it has always been something I've enjoyed (not always the politics, but the work itself has been rewarding). I used to say that for every sad ending, we had 10 happier ones. The walls of the unit are lined with letters and pictures and even scrapbook pages of our graduates. Are they "normal" and healthy? Not always. But every time a baby is born at as little as 25 weeks (remember that normal term gestation is 40-42 weeks) and survives it's a miracle.

Sometimes we have really sad stories. I used to be able to be compassionate to the parents, but ultimately remove myself from the situation long enough to work on the patient and stay focused. It has become exponentially harder now that I have children of my own.

Tonight was just one of those nights. Today was a little sad, and tonight it was so much harder for me to remove myself from the situation. It was so much harder to leave work at work and not think about it when I arrived home. Tonight kind of sucked.

The thought that keeps me going is that every time I face these babies, I am just that much more thankful for my own. Pregnancies are miracles. But nothing is guaranteed. Healthy babies and healthy children are absolute miracles too.

Goodnight. I am going to go cuddle the absolute miracle I call Tobes.

Remembering What Matters Most...

2011-08-26T17:55:00.000-07:00

It's kind of funny that this post follows one on my undomestication. And that I'm still working on my "New House Resolutions".

But I have had the day from hell.

Well, that's not entirely true. It's been a difficult day. It hasn't been impossible - the kids are (mostly) happy, and I had a few laughable moments (like finding an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet... cardboard tube and all). But it's been a trying day.

I made the decision yesterday that today would be my day at home. Today I would catch up on laundry, I would do some baking, Princess and I would craft, and Tobes would get all the sleep he needed! I decided that I would continue on my journey to pack the house (28 days until possession!!!!!!!! GACK!!) and would be little Suzy Homemaker.

Until that all fell apart.

Tobes woke up 2 hours earlier than he should have, which meant that Princess woke up about an hour earlier as well (I can't wait until the bedrooms and the play room are on entirely different levels!) I spent an hour convincing Tobes to take his morning nap, and his afternoon nap didn't happen at all. Baking happened, sort of, only as a result of SHEER WILL and total cravings of meat buns (for my Ukrainian friends, think perishky). ONE load of clothes got washed, but I totally missed my opportunity to sun out some stains on several items. And not a single item was packed.

Instead I spent the day couch-bound, nursing a miserably tired Tobes, and reading to Princess, who was slightly bored after her exciting day yesterday (we had her friend birthday party at the zoo). And I was super-annoyed. I had such big plans for the today. I wanted to get so much done today. I didn't want to spend the day on the couch, I actually had the energy and drive to get stuff done!!

But at the end of the day, I realize that my "ruined" plans were ultimately all for them. I want to be a better homemaker for my children. I want to bake for them, and have nice, unstained clothes for them, and we're moving because our new house is far better than this one for them. And my plans were derailed today for their sake.

Of course I still want to improve my housekeeping habits, but I need to learn to chillax when my schedule needs to be cleared for a day of snuggles...

New House, New Dreams

2011-08-19T15:49:00.000-07:00

Thank you Anne Taintor!

Another house post, I know. But this has really encompassed my entire life this month. Today's post is brought to you by two gigantic updates from just today!!

First off, it's completely official - our house is sold. We just got the papers in saying that all conditions have been removed. We were on the market for just twelve days, had six showings, plus two repeat showings. We had an offer on the table Saturday afternoon, signed by Saturday night, and now all conditions have been removed. It's done!

Secondly, we've got a conditional offer on a new place!! And it's completely not what I expected! We were looking for newer houses (we like the style), which led us to a few different areas. The biggest problem was space. The houses were big, but the backyards were tiny, and new houses tend to be in new developments, which are, well, new. The schools, and even parks and playgrounds tend to be further away.

Instead we found an older home in an older neighborhood. Eight blocks away from the local school and community league, just down the street from a park. The back yard is HUGE and private, and the house had major upgrades!! It has a sitting room, diningroom, breakfast nook, HUGE kitchen, livingroom, fully developed basement (though there's room for upgrades down the road there) three bedrooms, and two and a half bathrooms (one being an ensuite).

It's a major upgrade all-around! We are SO excited to move into it!

***

On that note, I have such big dreams for ME in this new house. I am domestically challenged. Try as I might, the running joke is that I don't cook, and I don't clean. But I grow cute babies! And between me and my husband, we have a pretty great balance of working both outside and in the home, and raising said cute babies.

This might not be an issue for some, but for me, it is. It's not an issue because Greg shouldn't be helping out. I sung my husband's praises on Father's Day, because I felt he deserved it, but I expect him to be an active member of the family.

It's an issue for me because I always wanted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), and I've always wanted to be Little Susie Homemaker. I've always wanted to maintain an amazing home for my family, and to cook delicious meals, and craft and sew and raise babies. I do the latter three quite well, but it's the first two I want to work on. This has not been the first time I've attempted at making a change in this area. But maybe a new house will help to inspire me. And I want to host more playdates, parties, and gatherings in my home. I always felt too far out of the way in this house, and the layout wasn't ideal for larger groups. But for those who know me, you can only imagine how excited I am to host family Christmas this year ;) (For those who don't, I LOVE Christmas, and a few years ago I pulled out all the stops - including personalized, embroidered, handmade bird ornaments for each guest). I am excited for backyard barbecues, birthday parties, and just having friends and family over for dinner. I have some great hostesses in my group of friends, and I have been jealous. I would love to join the cool kids in that club.

I think this new house deserves some new-house resolutions! I have 35 days until possession of the new house to think of some ;)

Homeless!!!

2011-08-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

... As my friend, the Common Sense Crusader kindly put it ;)

Our house sold on Saturday! It's still conditional on a home inspection and financing, but by the end of this week, if all goes well, we're sold! I'm not worried about the inspection - we have taken very good care of the house. And apparently the financing should be no issue as well.

So yeah... And now we have 46 days to find another house, buy another house, and move!

Eeeeee!!

LISTED!!

2011-08-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's official, we listed at the beginning of this week. Papers have been signed, and we're even officially up on MLS. Now to play the waiting game... So far we've had 1 showing, but it's been a slow week all-around - the weather has been really nice and people want to go out and play.

We're sitting on our hands, waiting for an offer to come in before we buy anything ourselves, so we're waiting on looking as well. I've seen a few awesome homes that are on our list, and I can't wait to be able to check them out :)

Fingers crossed that this all happens soon! It's a bit of a PITA to keep the house in show condition with the littles running around!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Farewell Rapunzel (Part 2)

2011-08-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

I promise this was her own doing. Princess opted for a conservative 7 inches off her hair instead of the intended 10+. It means we couldn't donate, but she has a shorter, healthier, easier-to-maintain 'do!

Farewell Rapunzel (Part 1)

2011-07-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

It was a stormy sky when this was taken

Princess is adamant that she wants her hair cut. She wants it short, like mine (above her shoulders). Right now her hair is down to her waist, and curls slightly at the end. We've cut her hair 5 times in her 4 years on the earth - once was when she was a week old and Hubbyman's grandpa passed away (I cut a small lock for his casket). Once was her first "official" haircut when she was about 14 months old - a dear friend of mine who's a hairdresser evened out her baby hair (the front was longer than the back) and gave her cute bangs. I then gave her 2 bang trims shortly after that, and then a month or two ago I trimmed the ends of her hair and took no more than an inch (if that) off.

But she wants a BIG change. She wants to chop off her 16" ponytail, and she wants to have short hair just like her mommy! We've actually even talked about donating said ponytail (in reality we'd probably cut off just over the 10" needed for Locks of Love) to a child in need.

I might have hinted to it before, but I don't handle change well. And while everyone has told ME that "it'll grow back", I'm still hesitant. I'm not too afraid that she'll regret it - she has been asking for this since October, and I've shown her countless pictures of short hair. I think I might be worried that she'll like it too much and want to keep her hair shorter. She's always had this long, flowing hair. She's always needed a hairband, clip, braid or ponytail.

But this Sunday, we're heading out for a long-awaited playdate with the same friend who gave Princess her very first haircut, and her daughter. And at some point, I'll say farewell to my Rapunzel! ;)

Wordless Wednesday - Dance Practice

2011-07-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

So This is Love...

2011-07-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think my life is a Disney movie ;)

Le sigh...

I'm in love, ladies. IN LOVE.

And I'm not just talking about my husband ;)

We have been house shopping! We went on Friday, and again tonight. Friday we looked at 6 houses from a list of 12 that I sent our Realtor throughout the week. We looked at 2 older houses in one neighborhood (literally right down the block from The Common Sense Crusader!!), 2 older houses that were just minutes away from there, a new house in a BRAND NEW development, and a newer (12 years old) house in a newer development. It was a great chance for us to see in person the houses that had caught our eye online.

Today our Realtor honed in on our comments from Friday, and picked out 4 more houses in the last neighborhood we looked at on Friday.

I am in LOVE :)

The neighborhood mixed all that we love about older neighborhoods (the homes aren't quite so cookie-cutter, lots of parks, schools and rec centers nearby, and the trees along the street are a little bigger) and newer developments (newer houses, open floor plans, and lots of young families).

The last house in particular that we saw was lovely :) It was 1800 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms. The basement is unfinished, but there was a HUGE bonus room upstairs, and a nice backyard. As soon as we walked in, we started daydreaming. We felt a little like we did back when we were house-hunting for our first home - newly engaged, fantasizing about starting a family someday. It's been on the market for awhile, and so my fingers are crossed that when we sign the papers to list (in 2 weeks, as long as everything goes well!) that the house might still be available when we're ready to sign (we were NOT ready to put an offer on it today).

There was also another one we saw today. 4 bedrooms (one in the finished basement), 3.5 bathrooms (again, one in the finished basement - a perfect guest suite!) a beautiful bonus room, and a HUGE deck in the backyard, with enough space to still fit in some sort of play structure for the kids (a newer item on our wishlist). Apparently they have been getting a LOT of showings, but at least we know that we have some good options out there when we go to list! We also have a few more neighborhoods to look at. I don't think they'll be as perfect as what we saw today, but they could definitely still meet our needs (and a few are cheaper too!)

On that note, just 2 weeks left! Eeek! We've said goodbye to the red paint in our livingroom and kitchen (I'll show before and after pics soon!) and the blue wall in our bedroom has gone taupe as well. (SUPER impressed with our painter. He was inexpensive, and did kitchen, livingroom, and bedroom in just under 6 hours! He's coming back at the end of the month to do the basement).

It doesn't feel like our house anymore with all of our personal touches neutralized, but that's ok :) Tonight I found some pretty awesome places we can personalize instead ;)

Fascinating Fascinators Sparked My Pinterest!

2011-07-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

It all started with a last-minute trip to a local farmer's market last night, and specifically a stop at a vendor with amazingly adorable hair accessories - mostly clips, bows, flowers, and bands for little girls. Since chopping off my hair (it was almost down to my waist when Tobes was born!) I have been known to steal a flower clip from my daughter to tame an unruly curl on occasion.

I couldn't resist, and I bought Princess yet another flower clip (bringing her count up to 3, as well as a pretty pink chiffon headband from the same vendor on a previous visit) and picked out the brown lacy flower for myself (as seen in the photo).

And then I got to thinking - with my new fab 'do, I want to play around with fun accessories. Maybe not flowers all the time, but fun headbands, and dammit - I want a fascinator! (I may or may not have obsessed over the royal wedding, and I may or may not be desperate to try one myself). I had so much fun searching ebay and etsy which led to my next thought...

I'm a crafter...! What's to stop me from making my own pretties?? So I have started to round up all sorts of awesome DIYs and Tutes for beautiful barrettes, heavenly headbands, and yes - a few fascinating fascinators have made that list ;)

And to organize it all? I have stumbled onto an AWESOME website - www.pinterest.com. It's basically just a place to collect and organize different links, ideas, tutes, recipes, and more! You can make inspiration boards of different pins (for outfits, home decor, menus, etc) And as you build your boards, you can browse other people's for inspiration and share ideas.

It's PERFECT for my crafty self, and as I've started browsing, I'm getting GREAT ideas for the new house too!

So check it out, and find me on there - you can find my new follow button just under my profile on the side of my blog :)

Feeling a Little Displaced

2011-07-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

If you've seen my house before (those who know me in real life), you almost wouldn't recognize it now!!

I've cleared the livingroom walls of all pictures in anticipation for this weekend, when our crayon-red walls get painted a nice, neutral taupe. We'll put a few pictures back up, but for the most part it's all staying down. The blue accent in our bedroom is going taupe as well (to match the rest of our walls). Thankfully we're leaving the murals Hubbyman painted in Princess and Tobe's rooms (he put a LOT of effort into them!)

We've got a storage unit for the extra furniture we have, and the basement is being measured for carpet on Wednesday (we've been promised installation by the end of July).

We have 3 weeks until we're hoping to list. We have 3 weeks left of certainty. I don't know how long it'll take to sell. We're hoping to be in a new home by Christmas, but that's just 5 months total from start to finish. How long will it sit on the market? How many offers will we get? What will the final price be? We built our first home, so the process was WAY different - we found the house, got the move-in date, and arranged our leases based on it.

We've obviously never done this before, so the thought of trying to orchestrate selling, buying, move-out and move-in dates. I know people do this all the time, but it's still new and scary exciting and daunting!

Eeep!

Why I Like "Crappy" Music... (and make no apologies for it)

2011-07-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

All you people, can't you see, can't you see, NKOTBSB!!! :D

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Backstreet's Back (alright!) and have joined up with New Kids On The Block for every teeny bopper's dream concert! They'll be in town this Tuesday! I have seen Backstreet Boys EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. they've come to town, minus last year, when Tobes was a newborn and I had to make the choice between breastfeeding and Backstreet Boys (it was a tough call, ladies!)

My e-mail account used to be closetbsbfan @ hotmail dot com. I have loved BSB ever since I first heard "Get Down" in grade 9 (1996!). Nick was my favorite at first, but that later changed to Brian, and he's forever been my favorite since.

I make no apologies for my "horrible" taste in music (I like a lot of pop music, though I wish not to disclose other artists at this time ;)) and despite being teased incessantly, boy bands make me happy :)

It's certainly not the deep, soul-stirring lyrics ("You are my fire, my one desire...") or the synthesized music (let's call a spade a spade. Pop stars are NOT musicians. They are pretty faces who can sing and dance and sell magazine covers and put on amAZing shows) that gets my heart racing.

When I listen to my BSB playlist, I feel 14 again. I'm having sleepovers with my friends, and we're buying magazines, taping specials on our VCRs, and saving up allowances for CDs, posters, and concerts. I had some AWESOME summers with the Backstreet Boys, and I go back there whenever I hear "Backstreet's Back" or "As Long As You Love Me".

So I'll be at that concert on Tuesday night. And I'll lose my voice screaming every time Brian comes on stage ;)

My Reflections on the Last 4 Years...

2011-06-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Tobes, 1 year ago

I have been writing this post over and over and over again. I thought that my "Mommyhood" post was born in May (and left unfinished and rewritten 10 times over), but a search (and cleanup!) though my drafts folder on Blogspot has shown me that I actually had 2 more starts to this topic dating back to March of 2009.

My post on Fatherhood came easily to me. My husband is inspiring, and an amazing father to my 2 children. More than I could ever ask for. It was easy to write about such a fantastic parent.

But what do I say about motherhood? And while I just celebrated my 4th anniversary as a mother, what makes what I have to say any more inspiring than anyone else?

I do not pretend to be an expert, and I do not pretend to be flawless. If anything, I am still climbing a very steep learning curve.

But this is what I HAVE learned about myself and motherhood in the last 4 years...

Time for myself doesn't have to be time by myself, but it's important either way.
I find the company of a 4 year old to be one of great fun, and great laughter. Most of the time.
I finally appreciate my mom's "wait until it's your turn" comment when she seemed frazzled after I spent hours talking nonstop growing up...
It's ok to be frustrated sometimes.
It's ok to make mistakes. As long as Princess doesn't write a memoir...
I am a good mom despite showering alone, having a hairstyle that takes time to style, scrapbooking, or spending money on things for me (those "repost this if you are a REAL mom..." statuses on facebook KILL me!)
I am crazy-proud of my children for the most ridiculous things.
I am not as patient as I thought I was. Actually, that's not true. I am just as impatient as I thought I was. And it's my impatience that is my daily lesson.
Though it may take time for me to gather up courage, I am willing and able to do whatever it takes to protect me and my family no matter what I'm protecting them from.
To do what's best for me, and to do what's best for my children aren't always the same, but I hope that I will always find a way to keep them compatible.
Discipline and guiding behaviour is infinitely more daunting a task than I ever imagined.

And finally,

Motherhood is, at the end of the day, about raising a person. Someday Princess and Tobes will be contributing members of society, and I hope that my family's values and beliefs are instilled in them. I hope they are happy, productive people. I hope they never question God's love for them, and I hope they never question our love for them.

I am sure there is more I could add to this list, but my daughter's "reading time" is done, and I am being beckoned to pray with her and give her a count-to-ten-snuggle ;)

Family Photos/Pro B-day pics!

2011-06-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

I mentioned a few weeks ago that we got family photos done before Sam and Tobes' birthday party (with Sam's family), and we finally got them back :)

The photographer, Jordan Verlage, did an amazing job as per usual ;) He took our maternity photos as well as Tobes 1 month shots.

And now, here's some of my favorites (along with my new banner at the top - did you notice it? It's all shiny and new)!

My babies. My heart soars with pride of them!

Tobes (right) and his bestest buddy Sam

This is going to be blown-up as big as I can and placed above our couch in the new home!

Best buds

Nursing moms (I love this shot)

One big happy family!

I can't post these without one of Toby's Brotha and Otha Motha (and Fatha...)

And here are pictures from Sam and Tobs' first birthday, by the same photographer!

Father's Day

2011-06-19T21:53:00.000-07:00

My amazing Husband, with my amazing kids!
Thank you to Jordan Verlage for the awesome photo!

An article was recently shared with me on facebook from CNN.com, entitled "A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!" and after reading it (please take the chance - it's a really great article), I spent the afternoon of Father's Day in reflection... ("the afternoon" because I was working that morning. Hubbyman spent his Father's Day waking up with the kids, cooking pancakes with Princess, and then loading them into the car to go shopping and have Dad-day at the mall... then he cooked me dinner. Because he is awesome like that).

I have always wanted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom, for those not in the know). I have always wanted to be a wife and mother. I am proud to be a nurse, but I must admit that a slight part in the decision-making process as I looked at university programs had to do with being able to work at an amazing career part-time while I reared my brood. Something I could put on hold while the babies were little, and be able to build upon as the children became more independent/started school. And I have to admit an exciting bonus of doing private practice lactation consulting is being able to tailor at least some of my schedule to work around my family.

In my dreams to be a SAHM, I wanted to find a man with similar values. But beyond that, I wanted to find a man who was excited about being a daddy, and about raising our children together. My desire to stay at home meant I needed a breadwinner, but I didn't want someone who thought that breadwinning was his only job. I wanted a daddy for my children. I wanted someone who had an opinion on parenting styles (hopefully that matched mine!!), and who was willing to be an active parent and partner.

And I struck gold with Hubbyman. He works every day at his 8-5 job, and he's also been known to work extra to bring in extra for our family's treats. But after working his 8-5 job, he has helped me out with dinner (especially in Princess and Tobes's early days), helped tidy up the house, and he has also played with the kidlets and put them to bed (even when I've been home). He wakes up with them on the weekend, and lets me sleep in. He plays with them for hours, has done Princess's nailpolish, and has had tea parties with her. He takes Princess on special dates, and takes Tobes for walks so I can sleep or rest, or go out for coffee with friends.

Has he worked hard already at work? Yup. Does he wake up eariler than me to go to work? Roger that. Is his job outside the house easier than mine inside the house? I'd say we're comparing apples to oranges with that one. It depends on the day! But this is a man who takes his job as Daddy just as serious as his "paid gig". We talk about how to approach each new stage with Princess (she being the oldest), and we marvel in Tobes's newfound personality. He is just as much the decision-maker in how we parent as much as I am.

And I couldn't ask for any more, or any better. Some day our babies are going to be old, and hopefully some day they're going reflect back on these days and remember all the special times they have shared with their father.

So to my wonderful husband, the father and daddy of my children, the one who let me nap yesterday afternoon, and who cooked me a lovely roast dinner tonight. To the man who is STILL Princess's favorite parent, and who's voice can make Tobes stop in his tracks when he hears you at the back door... To an amazing man, Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Birthday to The Tobes

2011-06-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

My ridiculously handsome little man, Tobes.

1 year ago today, I was made a mommy for the second time!

We had just finished celebrating your big sister's birthday, and you made your appearance on your due date, with 42 minutes to spare!

1 year ago today, a little boy was placed in my arms. We didn't officially know if you were a boy or a girl before you were born, but as soon as you were born, we knew you were Tobes. The early days were just spent getting to know you. We had a baby before, but we had never had a Tobes. I wondered if you'd like being wrapped against me (you did!) or if you'd prefer the swing (you didn't). I was excited for you to meet your big sister, and wondered if you'd like being her little brother (you do!) And I was excited to start our new life together as our happy little family. You were the missing piece. You were the one we were waiting for to complete us.

And now you're our little man. You're constantly exploring, and even though it keeps me on my toes, and even though I wish you'd sit still for just. a. minute, I wouldn't really have it any other way. I wonder if you're going to grow up to be an engineer like your daddy, or maybe an acrobat? You certainly are a daredevil - your scariest hobby is scaling the ladder up to Princess's loft bed. You're very quiet when you do it, and we have to be VERY careful about keeping that door closed now!

You have blonde hair and in the right light, I can see little hints of red, but otherwise you look a bit like your daddy, and a bit like your Uncle James. I wonder if your hair will stay blonde, get more red, or change to something completely different? I wonder who you'll end up looking like as you grow out of babyhood.
I wonder what you'll be like as you get older? Will you like music? Will you like to read? Will you keep your no-fear attitude, or will you mellow down with age?

This past year has been amazing. I love learning more about you each and every day, and I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. I think you're amazing, and I am so excited to be your mommy!!

I love you. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Princess

2011-06-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

The Princess, in all her 4-year-old glory. Isn't she beautiful? :)

4 years ago today I became a mommy.

4 years ago today a little girl was placed in my arms, and I was shocked (we expected a boy), nervous (I don't handle change well), excited, thrilled (we had always wanted a girl), and elated for the rest of my life as a mommy to start.

4 years ago I was dreaming of who you'd grow up to be. I was hoping you'd like dance, and Disney. I was hoping you'd be smart, and funny. I was hoping you'd love books, and being read to. I was wondering if you'd keep my eye color and who you'd look like more as you grew up. I was excited to show you your home, your puppy, and your family. I was excited to take you to the park, and the zoo, and share all my favorite childhood places with you.

And now you're my Princess, and you come by the nickname honestly ;) You love dresses and your long hair. You LOVE dance (yay!), and Disney. You are a bubbly little girl who always has something to say, and you're ridiculously hilarious when you want to be. You love to make us laugh. You love to "read" (look at books), and you're constantly bringing books to me. You have my eye color, and daddy's hair color, and it changes back and fourth who you look like more (though I think right now you look a LOT like I did at your age). You're a beautiful girl with a smile that takes up your whole face.

Even when I get frustrated, you make me proud to be your mommy. You're smart, funny, happy, and kind.

I love you. Happy Birthday!

Baby Steps

2011-06-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

I promise myself I will remember this moment when they're teenagers and annoying the crap out of each other (and me)

Tobes has started to walk more than crawl now. He's cruising. He's moving from one piece of furniture to the other (walking hands-free inbetween), from one person's leg to another, and standing around just watching Princess play. This is brand new as of this week, and pretty fantastic to watch.

It's amazing to watch the transition Tobes is going through from crawling to walking. Though even now, he prefers to walk holding onto our fingers, and I usually have to pry my fingers from his grasp for him to walk on his own. He stops for a minute and looks back at me before taking the tentative step on his own.

But this post isn't about him... It's about me!

I have been cruising the metaphorical furniture in my career so far. It's been comfortable. I don't need to go to the center of the room, I am good right here hanging out between the couch and the coffee table. But I see those arms beckoning me away. They're JUST out of my reach, and if I stumble, they might not catch me in time.

And I don't yet realize that the middle of the room is where it's at, and beyond that there are HUGE applications for this newly acquired skill. I can walk to the middle of the room, I can walk back. I can walk with the big kids, and sometimes walking leads to running, and then watch out!!

But to picture myself running at this point is impossible. There are too many things to do, too many things to learn. And that's when I get overwhelmed, and cling to my safe, comfortable couch...

Baby steps, Erie. Baby steps.

If You Go Out in the Woods Today...

2011-06-06T16:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated Tobes birthday alongside his bestest best bud, Sam! The boys were born 2 days apart (Sam shares Princess's birthday) and a joint birthday venture meant that Tobe's first birthday was given all the focus and celebration it deserved (something I was nervous about when I first got pregnant with another June baby).

Sam's mom just so happens to be one of MY bestest best buds, The Common Sense Crusader :) And she and her lovely husband co-hosted the event.

It was perfect, almost right down to the weather!

We started out the morning with family portraits done by Jordan Verlage, the same man who did our maternity and Tobe's newborn photos. We got shots of Tobes, Sam, and Princess (her 4th birthday will be celebrated with friends in July. That is what I keep telling myself, and it's a promise I am going to hold to!) and then family shots, as well as one big happy family shot.

Some examples of his work - one of my favorite maternity photos

The Common Sense Crusader and I

Baby Tobes... I can't believe he was ever that small!

I will take this moment to mention that Ms. Common Sense and I keep getting asked if the boys are twins (they do look alike), and when they find out they aren't, they ask if we're sisters! Actually, we've been asked the sister questions a couple of times outside the boys altogether. Isn't it said that people who spend a lot of time together start looking alike? Well I'll put on the matching nylon windbreaker if you do, m'dear!

Not sure who would be who in this picture, but don't they look snazzy?

After photos, we headed to the park. The forcast for the day was sunny and bright up until the day before, when Mr Weatherman predicted thunderstorms and showers all afternoon :(

But while that might have been the forcast, no one told God ;) Because we had "soft light" for the photos (which meant no scary squinty eyes for us!) and then BEAUTIFUL weather up until the literal end of the party (it started to pour rain as we loaded up, then the sun came out again! *lol*)

It was an amazing day! We had a lot of fun, with a lot of great people, and I am so happy we could share Tobe's first birthday with those we love!

Professional pictures to come soon, I promise :) Jordan (who also took PARTY pictures) said they'd be ready in 1-2 weeks, so the countdown begins ;) In the meantime, here's some we took!

Sam

Princess and her friends

Birthday Boys!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

7-Year Itch

2011-05-31T08:42:00.000-07:00

This July my husband and I will have been married for 6.5 years. That means that this July I will have been in this home for 6.5 years (my husband will be celebrating the 7-year milestone in September).

I mentioned earlier that we are moving. We are looking for a fabulous new home, with more space, more bathrooms, a garage, and unicorns and butterflies and rainbows and sunshine ;) Well, we ARE moving. We have found a realtor, the bank is throwing money our way, and we have all the contractors we need to finish the basement, minus carpet (though we're tackling that today). We need to repaint, finish the aforementioned basement, and then we're ready to list. We're now thinking Oct/Nov to list. It's a slower season but we've been told by both realtors we've met with that it should still be busy enough. We'll see.

I have the 7-year itch, my friends. I am ready for a change. I am ready for a change of space. I have been browsing housing listings online, and starting to dream up new decorating ideas. Our current livingroom is brown, tan and red (VIBRANT red walls, hence the need to repaint). With our brown furniture do we want to try out a different color (like green or blue?) on the walls? Or do we want to keep the walls neutral, and bring in pops of color with pillows, artwork, etc?

Princess and Tobe's rooms were decorated for gender-unknown babies. I am now thinking Princess needs a suitibly pink with white wainscoting, and doing a chalkboard mural on a section of one of the walls.

I also like this next picture for Tobe's room, though I'm now thinking of more muted tones to match the blanket I made him for his first Christmas.

The blanket colors. They're muted, but not this muted in real life!

For our room, I'm not sure. I love brown mixed with blues, or greens. But I also like yellow and green, or burgandies and gold, or even plumb. We're planning on upgrading our bed (king size!!) and bedroom set so we can really do anything.

I am dreaming of a kitchen big enough for both of us to be in there to cook, a big backyard for Princess and Tobes to play, and just a beautiful new space for us to be in, closer to our dear friends and family!

7-year itch. While I'm far to sentimental, I am just so freakin' excited!!

Crafting Cute Stuff Overload!!

2011-05-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

I need to remember this site for future reference. Sooo many cute things!

I wish I had more time to sew. I don't think I'd want to make my entire wardrobe, but I'm so short, and short-torso-ed, I usually have to get dresses altered to properly fit anyway. I'd love to make a whole bunch of cute summer dresses for myself. I have the material and pattern to make one right now. I just lack the time.

Le sigh. Too many cute things to make, too little free time (or free hands!)

Movin' On Up!

2011-05-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

**So in reality I started this really awesome blog post on my thoughts on motherhood, inspired by Mother's Day, and countless conversations with countless friends, but I'm still writing it. Unfortunately between work, an online lactation conference, countless sewing projects, and (oh yeah) KIDS, I don't have the time to do it justice yet. But it's coming, I promise**

We built a house in the year before we got married. We moved Hubby in September of 2004, and then in January, when we got married, I moved in. We built the house as our "5 year plan". We planned on buying bigger and better (and in a more ideal location) once we were settled into our careers, and basically once we had more money. We were both just graduating from university at the time.

We're now on year 7, and Princess starts school in a year! It's time to put up or shut up. In reality, it's not the end of the world to move while she's in school, but we've been talking about this for so long it's time to go. Almost everything in our lives happen in the other end of the city - we are driving there at least 3 times a week. We want to move closer to family, friends, and church.

We're getting realtors in to give us quotes and advice (we're still in the process of finishing the basement), and we're looking at listing anytime between this November, and next March (depending on the market, and when we get renos done). We're going in to meet with the bank after Hubby's next trip (that's right, he leaves again pretty soon for another week-long work trip, but that's a whole other post!) and see what we qualify for, and we're starting to browse MLS and coming up with our wishlist and listing priorities - we like the style of new-built homes, but we want a larger plot of land, so we're talking about what to compromise and how.

I am far too sentimental for all this stuff though... Hubby moved about 7 times before he came to the city for University (and has since lived in 3 different places within the city). I have moved 3 times. I lived in one house until I was 5, moved to the house my dad currently still lives in, moved out to an apartment for the year before I got married, and then moved into this house.

This is the house we built oursleves (well, not OURSELVES ourselves, but we picked out every aspect from carpet to light fixtures to placement of electrical outlets, and visited the worksite every week to watch it grow) the house we first occupied as newlyweds, and the house we brought our BABIES home from!! Princess' room is decorated with murals that Hubby painted just for her, and Tobes has a beautiful tree just for him. I have videos of Princess' first steps in the livingroom, and of Tobes crawling down the hallway at lightening speed.

I'm really excited for what the future has for us. I'm really excited for more space, and a new adventure in a new neighborhood. I just might need to take a bazillon pictures between now and then so that we never forget this house ;)

"On Vacation"

2011-04-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

Sophie left yesterday to go to Greg's brother's for a "vacation"...

No, this is not a "went to the farm" thing, she didn't pass away, and it is a temporary thing.

My poor pup. The reality is we had more than enough time and love and care for her when we got her. We really did. Even with working fulltime our evenings and weekends were spent walking and playing with her, and she was our little puppy.

But with each child she has slowly started to regress. Nothing too major, but it was harder and harder to call her, she was stealing food, and just not listening anymore. She was jumping up on everyone, and barking at night. And it got to a point where Greg gave up, and I couldn't do it all on my own. And between the kids and Greg's travels, it was just too much to handle.

Greg's brother has 2 other dogs, and he's happy to have her while we all take a break. She'll get to play with her "cousins", and get walked and groomed and petted and played with as much as she wants. And we'll have a chance to take a break and actually miss her (though he's promised to bring her over whenever he comes over for dinners or BBQs during the summer). And hopefully in a few months she can come home again.

I'm trying to view this as a good thing. I'm trying to remember that it's not perminant, we didn't see this coming when we had kids, and that she'll be ok. That this is what's best for her. But it still sucks.

I miss my Sophie.

Little Miss Independant

2011-04-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

I love her, I really do, but along the lines of Not Ready, I'm not ready for this independant phase.

This morning it was over what to have for breakfast. Usually she gets 2 options. She wanted neither. I stood firm, she told me I wasn't going to tell her what to do, and instead she was going to tell me what to do...

Le sigh.

It's a fine balance. The stubborn redhead in me wants to go all "No you didn't!" on her, but the parent in me is seeing that this is the stage where she starts to flex those independant muscles. She's in the "Initiative vs. Guilt" stage according to Erikson, where children begin asserting control and power over the environment. This is the time for Princess (an appropriate nickname right now! *lol*) to develop a sense of initiative and security. I want to nourish her ability to make decisions and take the lead. At the same time too, it is still my responsibility to guide her behavior and help her to learn what is and is not appropriate in relationships with others, and as a member of society. It's a time for me to pick my battles, all while maintaining appropriate "control" over the situation (and by "picking battles" and "control", I hope you understand what I mean.)

I recieved a book forever ago from a friend entitled "Christian Parenting & Child Care". I tucked it away, not thinking (my baby was... a BABY at the time, and I was overwhelmed with baby things), but then a few months ago a friend brought out her copy during a conversation we were having. I made mention I had the same book, but had brushed it aside, until my friend pointed out that it was by none other than my beloved Dr William Sears! *lol* I didn't even know it at the time!! So I've pulled out the book now and have promised myself that I will take the opportunity and time to read it through! I have not read nearly as much to prepare for this stage as I intended. (an unfortunate side-effect when much of her infancy was spent with me studying for my IBCLC) There are a few other books I want to gather from the library and read to equip myself with

In the meantime, I will continue to laugh, cry, be proud, and occasionally embarassed (though mostly proud. She's pretty awesome) by Little Miss Independant.

Not Ready

2011-04-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

Princess and Tobes on St. Patrick's Day

Princess and the Tobe both have birthdays in 2 months. Tobes will be 1, Princess will be 4. I'm not ready.

We're done having children for a variety of reasons. The biggest one is that we just have no desire to have any more children. It's not even that we have a boy and a girl, we're just happy with our brood, and I don't know if I will ever have enough energy for the ones I have now - let alone for any more! ;)

So watching them hit milestones is hitting a cord right now. (Hitting a chord? I googled and both came up as correct... I mean whichever means stingy) I'm just not ready.

Princess will be 4 in the summer. She will be starting kindergarten not next year, but the year after. I'm not ready. She wants to write letters and is randomly starting to add (??) and she looks like a little girl now. I'm not ready for her to be a little girl yet, let alone want to write and add and do all sorts of grown-up things. She is fiercely independant, and wants to learn French and Spanish, and can't wait to go to school with a teacher, just like Sid the Science Kid. I'm just not ready.

Tobes will be 1. He has 2 teeth now, and 2 more coming in, and I've finally come to the realization that he has been saying "mum" for quite a few weeks now, and says it only in reference to me (when he's looking for me, when he's crying and wants to be picked up by me). He does not say it for anyone else. I am not ready for my youngest to talk yet. Are you KIDDING me?? And he is thisclose to walking. He's walking with 1 hand now, and crusing around furniture. And standing. He's freaking standing on his own now. I'm not ready for my youngest to have teeth and eat food and walk!

I wonder if I'd feel this strongly if we were planning on more kids - am I scared because I'll never experience these firsts again? Maybe.

But this insight still doesn't make me any more ready! ;)

Latest Song Obession

2011-04-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

NeedtoBreathe Something Beautiful

I love it. I love the lyrics, I love the message, and I sing it all the time!!

In your ocean I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashing on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out
Yeah, I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown
Will you let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
Cause I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side
No I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
Cause I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

Dryclean Only

2011-04-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Labels. We've all got them. Some we're proud of ( "Daughter of God", "Mother", "Wife") and some we're not. Some we've given ourselves, and some are given to us.

I live with a lot of labels. I've recently played around with some different labels, most recently balancing crunchy momma (though as one of my besties, The Common Sense Crusaider, would point out, crunchy conservative is a much better fit) and suburban housewife. I'm struggling to keep the seemingly presigious SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) label in my collection, despite the fact that at the end of next week, I start a pretty prestigious paid job (for us nurses, these teaching gigs don't just fall out of the sky!) Maybe I'm all of them. Maybe I'm none. And maybe that's ok.

Maybe I don't need to follow all the directions on the label exactly to be able to use it.

Sometimes You Just Need to Put on Your Big Girl Panties...

2011-04-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's funny, I have used this phrase so many times in the past few months, but this time, I'm not talking about anyone else, I'm talking about me!

Greg is gearing up for another trip. While we didn't actually know his job would involve travelling when he took it, the trips have sadly become a large part of his job description. His work has taken him to India, China, Ireland, Singapore, as well as countless locations in the US and Canada. Unfortunately aside from taking an extra 2 days to see the Taj Mahal in India, and for a family vacation before his work in Ireland, he never gets to ENJOY the places he's travelling to. He's usually gone for at least a week, occasionally two, and it usually means that the weekend before and after are broken up with trips to the airport.

It's gotten easier as time has progressed. We've invested in our laptops so we can now webcam to chat so we don't miss a day of facetime :) And, sadly, I'm getting more use to him being gone. Before Princess came along, his trips would mean extra shifts and LOTS of overtime. If I wasn't at work, I was sleeping. It sucked, and I was lonely, but we managed. The extra $ from my overtime helped.

Now that the littles are here, I actually clear my schedule of work while he's gone. I try to maintain as much normalcy as possible for them. We usually follow the same pattern - first few days are lonely and out of sync, the next while we find our groove, and the last day or two take SO LONG to go by - it's an hour-by-hour countdown for Daddy's return.

It's time for me to put on my big-girl panties, and change my outward attitude for the littles. As Princess gets older and... develops independence (to put it nicely somedays!) I get a reminder that I am modeling every behaviour for her. So this trip I'm challenging myself. While I HATE when he's gone, I want to make his trips special for them. This means sleepovers in the big bed (Tobes is with us, but Princess sleeps in her own room otherwise), special outings, and special dinners. And hopefully by modelling better attitude for them, it'll help me feel better soon.

I hate when he's gone, but this is not the first, nor the last of his travelling. I might as well make the most of it!

Mompetition...

2011-04-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

OMG

A friend of mine shared a youtube goodie with me last summer. I watched it, giggled, and thought of all the people I could fit into either part of the conversation. But a bored blog-browsing session today led me to stumble upon her blog, as well as her youtube channel.

While I definately have more crunch to me than this woman, at the end of the day she's not about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. She's not about homebirths vs. hospital births. She's not about circumcision vs. intact. Her videos are a poignant reminder of just how some of us moms can come across, and how batcrap crazy we can sound!!

Dudes, remember what you're fighting for, and who you're fighting! ;)

And watch her videos. Seriously, they're awesome.

Blogging for the sake of it ;)

2011-04-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm still trying to figure out what I want this little blog to be. Some blog about a struggle they are battling with, some blog about their families, some blog about their work, some blog about causes. I'm guessing this will probably turn into one about my family. As I start to think about launching a business for myself, I am considering HOW and WHAT PART I want to brand. I'm thinking of launching a seperate blog and twitter account for writing about advocacy, and lactation-related goodies. But I'm hoping to keep this one up and going as well. I want to blog more often about my family. I am AWFUL at keeping up baby books. Hopefully taking the time to blog or journal a little bit every day will at least give me a point a reference when I look back in a year and try to remember what The Tobes was like at 9 months old, or what hilarious things Princess said (the other day, she tried to convince me that I should watch TV instead of playing on the computer, becasue the TV was so much better... "Tangled" was in the DVD player on our laptop...) So yeah. Blogging for the sake of it right now, but hopefully I'll take better advantage of this little blog o' mine ;)

What Are You REALLY Fighting For?

2011-02-21T22:05:00.000-08:00

I wanted to start this off by saying that this is about no one in particular, but written for everyone (myself included). This thought process started out as one conversation with one friend months ago, and then stemmed to more conversations, with more friends.

I have been blessed to know many MANY strong people in my life. They are nurses, teachers, business people, volunteers, activists, and advocates for a variety of causes. They are fighting for a cause, they are fighting for themselves, they are fighting for their familes, and they are fighting for others. They are fighting the government, they are fighting legislation, they are fighting colleagues, team-members and they are fighting pre-existing stereotypes, labels, and misconceptions.

It's clear to me that each of these people have taken up the cause because they've believed in it. Something about it has implanted deep within them. I, for example, am an avid advocate of breastfeeding.

It can be exciting to take a stand and fight. To share the information, educate others, break down barriers and push through. It's awesome to see minds change, and people impacted by your actions, by your taking a stand. And it's a responsibility. I am a nurse, consultant, and educator - it's my JOB to be passionate about this topic.

But I think deep down every one of us need to take a pause and contemplate exacting what we're fighting for, and exactly who we're fighting against. Do you actually know what you're getting into? Do you actually know the other side of the argument? Educate yourself on both sides. Your argument is a million times stronger if you already know what they're going to say. Do you know your sources? Do you know theirs?
And do you know who you're up against? Are they the attackers or the uneducated? Are they the unjust or the uninformed? There are times and places for the bullhorn and picket-line, yes. But don't forget that actions can also speak louder than words, and sometimes respect begets respect. Are they people you know, or strangers? The high-powered, or the person on the street? Are they people like you, or polar opposites? Do you know their background, their resources, what led them to where they are, and why they believe what they do?

It's disheartening to see people get disrespected by the bullhorn, or turned off by someone's on or off-podium actions. And it's frustrating to get painted with the same brush. In all the fighting, where's the compassion? Where's the respect? Just because you're right (or think you're right) doesn't make other people automatically wrong.

So I beg you to take a moment and think about how you take up your cause. Because your actions don't just impact you. They impact us all.

When the "Transitioning" Become the "Transitioned"...

2011-02-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

I'm officially coming out of the closet. At least here. I don't know exactly who reads this or how often, so this is kinda a big deal, but it's a smaller deal than let's say facebook or the entire world.

I'm a lactation consultant.

That's right. I wrote my exam. I am officially an IBCLC. I have an official card and pins and everything. And a certificate. That's right. I have a piece of paper and a PLASTIC card (no paper nonsense like my RN membership) with my full name on it. And 2 metal pins. All of them say that despite my procrastination and baby-brain and 2 children, I did over 1000 practicce hours, 75 hours of education, and passed a day-long exam and have now joined the ranks of International Board Certified Lactation Consultants. I could be hired at a hospital, have my own private practice, or work with doctors, midwives, or doulas.

But I am in hiding, mostly.

Why am I hiding? Because it feels safer. Because while this is a passion of mine, and a longterm dream, I think it's easier to not acknowledge it. At least not yet.

I look at other lactation consultants that I know (both with formal and informal training, both with formal and informal titles) and they're SO knowledgeable and SO smart. And I know all of my shortcomings, and I know all the things I don't know.

But I also understand that I will always be learning, and I will always be growing, and it takes time and practice to become who I see these other women as. And now, I'm just as qualified to do the job as any of them.

So I'm out of the closet. But don't tell your friends. At least not yet ;)

Christmas

2010-11-04T15:43:00.001-07:00

Is it Christmas yet? Now? How about now?

I am one of those annoying people with their lights up in October (though, in my defense, you need to get them done early with the winters we have! And we don't turn them on yet... Mostly because Greg won't let me...) I squeal at the first Christmas commercial of the season (not because I enjoy the commercialism of the season, but because I like the songs, and the reminder that Christmas is, infact, just around the corner). I love the twinkling lights, the decorations, and the music. I love the snow (when I don't need to go anywhere), the coziness, and the warmth. I LOVE gift-giving. I have an incredible craft-list for family this year that I'm so excited to work on! And most of all I love the "meaning of the season" - I love the opportunity to celebrate Jesus, and God's gift of salvation to us. I love hearing the story of Mary and Joseph and singing Christmas carols in a packed church with my family and friends.

So... Is it Christmas yet?

"Moments"

2010-09-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all my awesome friends - those who have shown amazing kindness and gentleness towards me and my family. Some of you have children of your own and have "been there, done that". Some of you are aunties (whether biologically, or have been adopted into the role) and some of you have made the decision to turn working with small children into a career. This post is a thank you to all of you. I know for certain that some of you read this blog, and I don't know about others. But I need you to know how awesome you all are.

I feel like I have had a week of "bad mommy moments". I don't mean that to say that I'm a bad mommy. I know I'm not. I look at my little girl and I know that I've done something right ;) But this has been a trying week, and when people look back at my life, and remember me as a mother, I hope this week is replaced by many happier memories. I've been short tempered, frustrated, tired, and upset. It's been rough with my partner-in-crime gone. I can tend to Tara (who I think has actually gotten chattier), or I can tend to Toby (who, while is a smiling ball of cuteness, is still a fussy, wailing infant!) but I feel like I fall desperately short when trying to care for both (and then throw myself and a dog into the mix). Thank goodness his trip was only 6 days! I am so happy to be back to "normal". Beyond missing my hubbyman like crazy, I'm so happy to have a second set of hands, and a second person to lavish attention on Tara while I nurse Toby, or to play with Toby (which at this point involves making faces and squeaking a giraffe) while I read to Tara. It's nice not to be outnumbered, and to give each child the attention they deserve.

We all have our "moments", whether mommy-related or not, where we feel we fall short of our own expectations of ourselves. Moments where we look back and feel like something has caused us to act out of character, where we could list 3 different (better) ways we could have reacted to a situation, or where we've come up with the PERFECT response... 2 days later. I've definately had my fair share, not limited to this week, although I feel like it's been more concentrated these last 6 days. I get frustrated with my chatty 3-year-old. I am flustered with my crying baby. I say and do things that while no one else might have thought anything of it, I wish I could redo (2 days later, of course! ;)) I pride myself on my parenting. I am proud of the funny little girl my daughter has become, and the smiling, happy baby my son is. I am embarassed when I get flustered and upset. I am embarassed when I lose patience and raise my voice. I am embarassed when I'm distracted and can't focus.

And this is where my awesome friends come in. I know it's all part and parcel in friendship, but thank you for your looks of understanding when I have those moments, and knowing that I'm just having a bad day. Thank you for your patience, and kind words. Thank you for your love and understanding.

You guys rock my socks!

Feelin' Old... Or Grown Up, at Least ;)

2010-08-27T09:33:00.001-07:00

I just finished filling out the form for my daughter to start Irish Dance. I danced for about 10 years, and it's only been about 5 since I quit, and now I'm registering my daughter. Same school and everything. I'm going to be one of those moms out in the hallway. Maybe I should take up knitting? Or crochet. I can't believe I'm going to be a dance mom. I'm not OLD enough to be a dance mom*!!

I'm so excited :) I'm so excited for her first class (which reminds me, I need to get her black shorts!) I'm so excited to buy her first pair of shoes (as far as I know, her feet are still too small for real soft shoes, so I imagine she'll wear black ballet slippers in the meanwhile). Oh my goodness, I'm so excited (and nervous!) for the first time I have to try to curl those long locks! I remember how long it took my mom to do my hair, and it was nowhere near as long as her hair is!!

I'm excited to help her practice (I've been trying to get back into dancing as well), and for her very first competition.

I'm gonna be a dance mom*! Eee!!

* Don't worry. This isn't one of those "trying-to-relive-my-youth-through-my-daughter" things. I'm gonna be a cool dance mom. I'm going to support her, not force her.

The Disney Influence

2010-08-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Princess-influence specifically. I don't know what else it could be! My little girl refuses to wear anything other than skirts or dresses, and she hates having her knees show. In the summer heat this is fine - she has enough of both to cycle through on a regular basis, and I love making her skirts to boot. She has pretty patterns, fun designs, skirts that are frilly and ones that twirl. I'm thrilled that she polices the length herself, not that I think it's a huge deal for a 3 year old, but it's a pattern I'll definately encourage as practice for later on.

The problem is that my princess of a daughter lives up in the cold north with me, and the warm temperatures are already starting to cool as we near fall. This become problematic because her majesty refuses to wear tights, shorts, leggings, babylegs, pants, etc. Basically if it touches her leg, no thanks! I have thicker materials to make her some "winter skirts" to wear with long sleeves and sweaters, but it would be nice if I could get her to wear something underneath.

I was such a tomboy as a child - this struggle is definately new to me!

There Might be a Little Room for Love Afterall...

2010-08-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends has 2 sons, aged 5 and 6, whom we now make a weekly trek out to see. Tara and the 6 year old (my Godson) were somewhat betrothed from the start. Zack has always been kind and gentle to Tara. They hold hands at church, and they play gently and quietly (most times) at our playdates.

Nathan and Tara, on the otherhand... Well, Nathan one day informed us that he "just can't love Tara". And that summed it up best. Nathan and Tara are like water and oil. There's a communication barrier that just doesn't seem to let up, no matter how they grow and mature. Nathan and Tara will just never love each other...

... Until today. We've noticed Nathan and Tara are pretty happy to play when Zack's at school. This afternoon Nathan and Tara even spent time drawing while Zack played on the Wii. But they absolutely outdid themselves when we came in from playing in the yard - when Nathan signed "I love you" to Tara, and Tara said "I love you back".

To top it off, they HUGGED goodbye (which I don't think they've actually ever done.. Ever.)

Could this be a turing point? Could they end up lifelong friends? I don't know. But I do know one thing - maybe there is a little room for love afterall...

Belle of the Ball...

2010-08-20T12:07:00.001-07:00

Right now my daughter is parading around in a recieving blanket tied around her waist, plastic princess high heels, and 3 necklaces around her neck. She just informed me she is going to the Ball with her husband and children.

We live in a land of make-believe right now. One moment she's a waitress taking my lunch order (and telling me to not even bother asking for a milkshake because we're all out, but I can have another diet pepsi while I'm waiting if I'd like!) then she's going to the ball to meet all the princes, then she's grocery shopping with her children but her silly husband keeps calling her on her cellphone!

She's my silly little girl :)

Brushes the dust off

2010-08-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Hello poor, neglected journal! The past few days was a bit of a breakdown as Toby's fussy periods grew exponentially, so I've decided to journal. I have opened up a specific journal for him - to track his waking and sleeping times, as well as his happy and sad times. Hopefully with it documented I'll be better able to figure out what's going on and what to do!

I don't know what this journal will become. I think it'll turn into "A Day in the Life" - who's doing what and how :)

Leave it to the 2 year old to ruin Christmas!

2009-12-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

It took me weeks to finally gather up the drive and motivation to start on the pajama pants I was making for my mom for Christmas. 2 pairs made of really pretty, really soft fleece! Yesterday I finally got my butt in gear, and all but finished the first of the two pairs. Knowing that it was just an hour before my mom would get there to babysit, I carefully packed away the pattern and instructions, and hid the fabric. All the pins, needles, and supplies were safely stowed just as my mom came to the door. Tara shouted in excitement and rushed to greet her Grammie. My mom wasn't even 2 steps in the door when Tara exclaimed "Grammie!! Mommy making pajama pants for you!!!"

Greg told me last night that while I was going to be at my spa appointment this morning (yes ladies, be jealous! ;)) he and Tara were going shopping. They were going to Home Depot, Canadian Tire, and "another store". This morning Tara woke up in a cheery mood and I brought her back into bed with us. She gave her daddy and hug and told me "We go to Old Maybe today!"

Now, it's not that we're expecting our little girl to keep secrets well, or know when she should say what, but we totally weren't prepared for her to be such a little blabbermouth! *lol*

SHAMED!

2009-12-09T16:23:00.000-08:00

So it was bad enough to get the hints from Christy and Amanda that I didn't update this nearly enough (well, I guess conversations starting with "If you ever updated your blog..." or "Hey Erie, did you know that the last time you updated your blog was..." aren't really hints, are they?) But now my "cyber-hip" Kate flat out called me out on her blog today... So I will update ;) (Yes ladies, call me out in person, meh. Call me out in cyberspace, and I will respond!)

What's new in my world? We've been gearing up for the holidays! The house is decorated, the presents are bought and wrapped (except for Greg's... I have no idea what to get that man!) and I actually know what we're doing when for each day of the holidays to celebrate with each family member :) Every morning Tara reminds me to "turn on Christmas" (the lights) and she's really excited about the tree and everything.

It's nice because at this age she still has no clue what's going on, but she can retain so much more. She doesn't know that the gifts under the tree are much more than pretty packages wrapped in bright paper, that they're toys and things for her to play with. She doesn't know who Santa is other than the iconic bearded man in the red suit. She doesn't have a wishlist, and I can even get away with shopping for her Christmas gifts WITH her (a luxury that I'll definately miss when it's gone!) We're trying to keep emphasis on Jesus's Birthday (though that has lead to confusion conversations of who's birthday is when) and we're building traditions for our happy little family :) I'm REALLY excited for Christmas this year!

I must end this update with one of my favorite Tara-isms to date... No, I lie - I have 2.

First is from Greg. He took Tara shopping about a month back to "Old Maybe" because they were having a huge sale on men's sweaters. As he was trying them on (just over his shirt) Tara kept ooo-ing and ahh-ing and exclaiming "That so cute!!". She apparently also sorted through the lower racks of hanging clothes stating "That cute! Oh, that not my size. That not on sale." ... BUSTED!

Second is from last week... Tara was waiting at the front door for me as we were getting ready to go somewhere. After a failed attempt of opening the front door (it was still locked), she turned to me and shrugged, stating "Probably I can't open the stupid door because it's stuck"... BUSTED again!!

Dear God, Thank you Jesus. AMEN!

2009-07-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

Tara has started to pray. It started in the car on Friday. I was going to my doctor appointment and feeling anxious. I was on the phone to Greg, and when I hung up the phone, I heard a little voice say "Amen!"...

"Tara, are you praying to Jesus?"
"Yes mommy! I pray to Jesus. Thank you Jesus, Amen!"

... Her prayers have now extended ever so slightly. Today she was at the top of her little slide when she said

"Mommy, I want to pray to Jesus. Dear God, thank you Jesus. Amen!"

If we're supposed to approach God with childlike faith, I think I've gotten too wordy!!!

At a loss...

2009-07-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to think of the right time to write this, the right time to share this news, and the right words to say. Then I realized that I'm probably not going to get them all right anyway, so why waste anymore time?

Greg and I miscarried on July 15th. I was 11 weeks plus 2 days, and started spotting, which turned into bleeding, which then (with some minor medical intervention) turned into a full blown miscarriage. The ultrasound said that the fetus probably stopped developing around the 5 week mark, meaning it took my body 6 more weeks to realize it. The most awful part about it was just that I couldn't do ANYTHING. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't make it go by faster, I just had to wait.

And that's where I still am. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for my body to get back to normal. I'm waiting to be able to start trying again. I'm waiting to get pregnant again and move on from this horrible limbo that I'm in.

And while I'm waiting I feel like I'm supposed to be more focused on the sadness of mourning this lost life, when really I feel like a life was never "lost", it was just lent to me for awhile. The "baby" never even developed as such - just a group of cells - one destined to be a placenta, one turning into a sac. What has been the hardest part is coping with the change. I was supposed to have my 12 week visit on Friday, and instead it was a post-miscarriage appointment. I bought summer maternity clothes because my bump developed at 9 weeks and it was hard to fit into my shorts anymore. I had figured out my delivery and contacted the doctor I was going to go with. We just started telling people, and now we had to keep track of who we told so that we could update them. It's hard because people don't seem to understand. I have been told by the healthcare team following me that I need to give myself time to grieve before I move on, and yet it's the moving on that I find comfort in. I feel so disjointed right now, and it feels like between the medication, the bloodwork, and appointments I eating, sleeping, breathing, and living this miscarriage.

I am tired of waiting. I am ready to move on. I just want to be back to normal again.

Why I Love Weddings...

2009-07-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

It should come as no surprise to anyone by now that I love weddings. I heart them bad. I am a community leader on a wedding board, I would LOVE to be an event (wedding) planner someday, and my heart skips a beat when I get an invitation in the mail.

Why do I love them so much? I don't think I even totally knew until today.

Today I was at the wedding of a choir friend, and her sister did the sermonette, and it felt like she was speaking for me! I can't totally explain it, nor can I remember her words exactly to write them down here, but I'm going to try to list to you guys why I heart weddings.

1) On the spiritual plane, I love the what the Bible calls marriage to be. We are called to love each other like Jesus loves the church. Greg and I as husband and wife are called to be God's light to the world, and to show the world God's love to us! Greg and I are to love one another for who we are, where we are, and what we are. We are to devote ourselves to each other's wellbeing, wants, and needs.

2) I don't know if there's anything more romantic!! The entire day is centered around 2 people who are madly in love, who have decided to devote their lives to one another! Everyone is wearing pretty clothes, decked out in their finest, and the whole place is filled with love!!

3) I love the idea of marriage! I am in wonder and awe of the idea of two people chosing to spend the rest of their lives together, for better or for worse. The vows are so personal and so beautiful, if they're written by the couple, or something more "standard". It's a promise to be taken so seriously, and yet it's such a romantic notion!

4) Weddings are such a transforming day. If you think about it, it's witnessing the birth of a marriage. Two individuals start the day (usually apart), primping, preparing, nervous and excited. The ceremony begins, and they meet each other. Through the ceremony, no matter what elements are there, at some point the couple say their vows, promising themselves to one another. And then, the proclimation, and they are married! Two lives become one, two souls become one (if that's what you believe), and a marriage is born. Then it's time to party ;)

Something that did stick in my mind from today (the reception speeches) was that Marriage is a verb. It is something you do, not something you are. Greg and I take our marriage very seriously. We spent over a year preparing ourselves for it (I'm talking beyond wedding planning) and I think every wedding we attend is just another reminder of what we are called to do, and who we are called to be.

Not all weddings are equal, but big or small, elaborate or simple, as long as the couple (and family and friends) is serious about their marriage, it's the most beautiful event I could have the honor of being a part of :)

What's This?!

2009-06-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Tara, I was paranoid. How much of this little baby's development is based on genes, and how much is based on environment? If I missed a meal (usually because it spent only a short time in my stomach thanks to morning sickness) or forgot my prenatals, did that mean she would be at a deficit later? How could I foster a love for learning that her father and I share? Would she know to question things, love to read books, and have a big imagination?

Any of those doubts have flown out the window. Tara is the inquisitive, intelligent little girl I always dreamed of.

Her latest phase, although annoying at times, might be my favorite. Her most used phrase right now is "What's this?!", usually said with wonder and awe. It could be about anything - who we've passed on the street, something she sees in a store, or on TV. I do my best to supply the simplest, but truest answer, which is responded to with "Oh yes! __________!" as though I've simply reminded her of what it is.

Sometimes we play this game all day! But it's how she's learning about the world around her, and I'm happy to take part!

Obsessed!

2009-06-22T08:52:00.001-07:00

Tara has now become a fan of all things "Princess". I thought that if it was pink or frilly she was drawn to it instantly. The Disney Store was having a HUGE sale and she got a pretty pink dress with sparkly flowers and Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) on it, as well as a "gown". Not the tulle-y, fluffy, fancy princess gowns (those were still very, VERY expensive, but I'm saving my pennies!) but a pink satin gown with little ruffles all over the skirt, and a picture of 3 princesses (Belle, Aurora, and Cinderella) on it. She picked out 2 pairs of sparkly pink flipflops to go along with her outfits.

She naps in her Princess bed, usually in her favorite Princess pajamas, and every morning she wakes up asking for her Princess dress...

I THOUGHT that if it was pink or frilly she was drawn to it instantly... Nope! This morning her "Princess dress" was a blue frock that I used to wear as a child. I thought she'd DIE if we watched a Princess movie, but a few minutes in, she was asking for Max and Ruby (I even fast-forwarded to all the Princess parts!) And her "Princess cup" of choice this morning was the green tupperware tumbler.

And now she's playing with her "Princess cars" (hotwheels)...

I realize now her only exposure to anything remotely Princess-related has been the episode where Ruby puts on a play about 2 princesses who go to the ball, and the Disney faces that are plastered on her bed, toy cellphone, her pajamas, and 2 new dresses.

"Princess" has taken on the meaning of "I really like this, and think it's cool" and I'm ok with that ;)

Besides, it's only 5 years until we take her to meet real princesses... In Disneyland! ;)

Tara Turns Two...

2009-06-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

This Thursday my daughter will officially be two, and I am just not ready. There's no way of going about it. SHE is not old enough to be two.

In the past month, she had really grown up. She is speaking fuller than full sentances, she has mastered "I" vs "You", though she still gets caught up with verbs (like "I are"). She has switched from "needing" everything, to "need wanting" some things, "needing" others. She is drinking from a big girl cup, has all but mastered the art of cutlery, and hates getting her hands dirty!

She can dance, and run, and jump. She can stand on one foot (WITHOUT help, though it doesn't last long, of course!) She climbs on everything, walks backwards around the house, and insists on doing things by herself!

But she's really not old enough to be two!!

I Hate That You Go...

2009-05-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

I always feel torn. I am so proud of my husband and always have been. Travelling is part of his job, and he loves it. It's a big deal that he's the trusted representative of his department and go on these big trips. But I miss him so much when he's gone. The house is quiet, and it's lonely. I have plenty of friends, but it's not the same. I'm lonely without him.

It's hard to strike a balance between loving and supportive, and selfish and needy ;)

This always happens...

2009-04-27T21:21:00.001-07:00

It's not that I've forgotten my poor little journal, I just don't feel like I have much to write. I am typing from my totally rad new laptop though, and that makes me happy!

I have recaught my head cold, and that does not make me happy. I promise that when I have time and a clear head to think, I'll come up with something more interesting to say ;)

A Regal Greeting.

2009-03-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

This morning Tara came down the hall and said "Hi Mommy", to which I replied "Hi Princess!" to which she said "Hi Princess!"

And it made me smile :)

It's just stuff...

2009-03-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

What was a fantastic family trip ended in minor tradegy when our laptop (and ALL of our photos!) went missing. We have little hope of it being returned, and I still cry about it off and on...

I need to take up Greg's mantra of "It's just stuff"... All of Tara's first year photos are backed up on CD. Most of her second year are online. Her list of firsts is gone, but thankfully I had updated her babybook beforehand and so I still have some things.

It sickens me to think of someone wiping the harddrive, but I hope that's what happened... Otherwise all of our personal photos are out there somewhere in someone else's hands. It's hard to think about without having a panic attack or crying...

It's just stuff. And God has already poured his grace on us. Photos that I thought were lost forever were found. There is a slight chance that the pictures on the camera card that I loaded onto the laptop halfway through our trip and then deleted can be salvaged (please pray! We'll know more tomorrow!!) We have possibly found sources for the money that we will need to spend to replace what was lost.

And God has given me a working copy of Corner Gas Season 5!! I had found my original, WORKING copy the night before the trip, and so brought it along, and it was in the laptop case that was taken. But the most recent version that Greg picked up for me on Monday seems to be working.

God is good, and it's just stuff...

Taken Me This Long?

2009-03-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

How come it has taken me 26 years to experience High Tea at the Empress? It certainly wasn't my first visit to Victoria! How come it was taken me this long to meet the people I have, or make the new friendships I've made?

Random things to think about... :)

The Littlest Dictator...

2009-03-02T17:39:00.000-08:00

Throughout the day today, if I'm wasn't where Tara was and she wanted that changed, she'd come up to me and demand that I "SIT!". I wasn't moving fast enough, and she started to smack the floor where I was supposed to be, her voice getting louder and louder and shriller and shriller...

It's cute, when I don't focus on who's in charge of who...

Little Arms Full of Large Things...

2009-02-27T09:20:00.001-08:00

Tara is walking around the livingroom with a bowl of apple slices, a spoon, a cardboard box, two pieces of paper, a shoe, her sippy cup, a book, and a broken pen.

Please and Thank You!

2009-02-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

Tara hasn't gotten the hang of saying "please" on her own yet, but we're working on it. Right now when she asks for things we way "what do you say?" and she's very quick to add "please". Something that's come out of left-field has been the "thank you"! All morning she's thanked me every time I've gotten her something or passed something to her without prompting!

When she's not kicking or screaming or throwing things or being naughty, she's quite a polite little girl!

Let the world stand still for awhile...

2009-02-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

No matter how hard I try, no matter what we do, it feels like I never get a chance to catch my breath. Last weekend was WONDERFUL. It was an amazing time spent with fantastic friends. But it went by too quickly. I wanted Saturday to last forever. Then I begged for Sunday to pause a little bit so that I would have more time with these amazing friends.

I'll be back in less than 2 weeks, which is exciting, but at the same time it also means that I need to scramble to do laundry again and pack again. The weekend before we leave will be spent with BIL, which is awesome as we haven't seen him since Christmas.

The weekend before that is next weekend, and I'm working on Sunday. I wanted to take Saturday off and do absolutely nothing, but we still have church in the evening.

Everything is fun and exciting and new, but I do wish I could hit the "pause" button once and awhile, and catch my breath!

I don't say it "Posh" enough...

2009-02-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Vancouver tomorrow!!!! I'm so excited! I have my bag packed, and everything ready to go! Why am I going? Because a dear friend of mine is turning 25, and her mom is throwing her the parties to beat all parties!

Yes, that's right my friends - Tara and I are flying to Vancouver for 3 days JUST to attend a birthday party.

I need to practice my Posh accent...

*****

Oh, and just to prove that my daughter really *is* the cutest little girl ever, tonight Greg was playing her toy bodhran, and she started dancing around. We had this little tribal drums/dance session in our livingroom. Gosh darnit she's adorable!

Her words...

2009-02-18T11:40:00.000-08:00

As of right now, at the age of 20 months, Princess says the following words:

apple
banana
mac 'n' cheese
water
juice
cheese
bread
milk
ham
snack
more
fork
spoon
bowl
cup
please

sit
up
down
stairs
chair
step
door
open
close

mommy
daddy
Sophie
Nanny
Tara
Jeff
Amber
Sarah
James
Stacie
Kim
Austyn
Zack
Nathan
Christy

picture
color
draw
ball
baby

shirt
pants
sock
shoe
hair
brush

teeth
arm
hand
elbow
knee
foot
ear
eye
mouth
nose

hi
bye

"see you"
"I love you!"
"I'll get you"
"all done"

... There's more, but that's what I remember right now! She's definately her mother's daughter. And every day she's surprising us with another word!

It's been a long time...

2009-02-07T18:29:00.000-08:00

I have a journal on mustloveweddings.com, but not everyone can read it, and sometimes my thoughts are clouded between conversations with my friends.

I used to have a blog. I used to have a few blogs, but as time progressed I lost interest. I hope that can change. I hope I can keep up this time.

I'm hoping to be able to use this blog to keep tabs on what's happening in my life. Greg and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary, and Tara will be 20 months old on Wednesday.

I lead a very blessed life. I have to remind myself from time to time ;)

The Princess and the Tobe

7 Years!

I Gotta Be Me, and You Can Be Me too.

The Trade-Off.

Shake It Out

I Watch REALLY Bad TV...

Wordless Wendnesday

Project Domestication

2012!

Santa

Merry Christmas

29

Guest Blogger Again!

Meet Emma

I Love This Age!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!!

A Firm Handshake with Change.

From a House to a Home! Our First Celebration...

Wordless Wednesday

Thankful

7 Years

It's About to Get a Whole Lot Louder...

"Meticulous" feet...

Well Articulated...

Parenting From 16 000 KM Away

Not Gonna Lie...

Remembering What Matters Most...

New House, New Dreams

Homeless!!!

LISTED!!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Farewell Rapunzel (Part 2)

Farewell Rapunzel (Part 1)

Wordless Wednesday - Dance Practice

So This is Love...

Fascinating Fascinators Sparked My Pinterest!

Feeling a Little Displaced

Why I Like "Crappy" Music... (and make no apologies for it)

My Reflections on the Last 4 Years...

Family Photos/Pro B-day pics!

Father's Day

Happy Birthday to The Tobes

Happy Birthday to the Princess

Baby Steps

If You Go Out in the Woods Today...

Wordless Wednesday

7-Year Itch

Crafting Cute Stuff Overload!!

Movin' On Up!

"On Vacation"

Little Miss Independant

Not Ready

Latest Song Obession

Dryclean Only

Sometimes You Just Need to Put on Your Big Girl Panties...

Mompetition...

Blogging for the sake of it ;)

What Are You REALLY Fighting For?

When the "Transitioning" Become the "Transitioned"...

Christmas

"Moments"

Feelin' Old... Or Grown Up, at Least ;)

The Disney Influence

There Might be a Little Room for Love Afterall...

Belle of the Ball...

*Brushes the dust off*

Leave it to the 2 year old to ruin Christmas!

SHAMED!

Dear God, Thank you Jesus. AMEN!

At a loss...

Why I Love Weddings...

What's This?!

Obsessed!

Tara Turns Two...

I Hate That You Go...

This always happens...

A Regal Greeting.

It's just stuff...

Taken Me This Long?

The Littlest Dictator...

Little Arms Full of Large Things...

Brushes the dust off